Blur moment alwayz~

the hunger games

2012-01-09T01:00:00.001+08:00

last week, i finished reading 'The Hunger Games' by Suzanne Collins.

start reading on new year night and finished the whole trilogy 2 days later.

damn, it was one hectic reading. i skipped my night sleep to finish the 2nd book (catching fire)

because i started reading that one at 10pm. i tried to stop and get a sleep, but my brain just wouldn't allow that.

me: brain, enough. i need my sleep

brain: finish that effing book, i must know what happen next

i ended finish just before subuh. the book is a page turner.

after finish the third book (mockingjay), my mind was blown away. the feeling and emotion that experience after i put down mockingjay was unexplainable. i was in a glass case of emotion: sad, traumatised, anger, confused, ..... imagine having all those thing at one time.

it was just unbearable. and i was distraught for quite a few days.

why? (contain spoilers)

1)catching fire and mockingjay were more into the Katniss dealing with whatever she was dealing with (post hunger games trauma & war). while i was reading them, i can absorb every feeling Katnis was having thanks to Suzanne detail descriptions of them. even after reading, i can still feel the emotion (just like when you still feel angry/sad after waking up from a nightmare). my mind just lingered around and recalled the cruelty, break downs, screams and actions mentioned in the book. how suzanne put it into words; how war affects people, really is to be given credit.

2)deaths. especially when suzanne decided to kill finnick and prim. finnick's death really hit me hard. along the way, we got to know a bit about finnick's life after his hunger games and how he put up with it. regardless what happened, his love is only for one woman, annie, who he could never live without. when finnick died during the battle, out of the blue my mind remembered the pictures on tumblr where american soldiers died and the family member/relatives/partners cries/mourn over their deaths, and i realised that finnick's child will never get to see his/her awesome father. *how can you not be sad by this thought?* then, prim. katniss's reasons to survive was to protect her mother and sis (prim), prim's death really put katniss in a limbo for awhile. the saddest scene after prim's death was katniss's 'conversation' with buttercup. i can feel the distress katniss dealing with.

3)i had a bit void somewhere in my heart after finished the trilogy (rasa kosong). after a while, i realise that the ending was not something that i expected. it was a bit abrupt and it was left untold, not elaborated enough (unless i missed something after the battle ended, i did rush through the ending). why coin decided to kill those children, what happened to gale after he moved to district 2, is there other reasons why katniss voted yes for hunger games for capitol's children (just for prim? being gone through katniss character development, this is quite unexpected. plus haymitch agreed to katniss's choice, why?) and a few others i can't think of right now. this lacking of closure, i would say,does not provide the satisfaction as i received from harry potter. but, maybe this was intentional by suzanne as to provide more room more *hurm* discussion? i dunno. *i really dont mind if the hunger games books are as thick as harry potter's, if to elaborate all the missing pieces*

nevertheless, this trilogy is awesome.

1)i love the story itself, the unique idea behind it. how suzanne portrayed the effect of war into an excellent story.

2)i love the variety of characters involved. (my favourites; haymitch, peeta and finnick)

3)pace. it was hard to put down. one page lead to another. never a dull moment.

4)had i said it's awesome?

i never regret the decision to buy this trilogy.

tiada

2011-12-13T01:38:00.002+08:00

hati kosong

kau celaru

dunia kosong

tapi kau masih mampu terkenang

tapi kau masih mampu meratap

Quran di sana;

bukalah

cubalah faham

tapi kau tetap egois dengan Pencipta

dan kau masih berani kata

"tiada tempat aku di dunia,

semua sudah menghilang, tiada"

celaka,

kau yang menghilangkan diri dari semua

hati kau yang tak bersemuka dengan yang Esa

dan kau masih berani salahkan semua?

---------------------------------------------------------------------

dah nak dekat dua minggu aku kat Malaysia

several things on the to-do list dah checked;

-food; durian, manggis, dine at Syid Seafood, macaron,

-movies; puss in boots, tin tin, arthur christmas,

-mall; KLCC, OU,

these are only a few of the many on the list.

and byk lagi tempat nk kena pegi for shopping

and owh, i passed 2nd year. despite all the ruffles i went through this year. self-inflicted ruckus

couldn't bring myself to study, distraction, worries. yada2...

certainly a reminder for next year.

dah tak boleh main2 for the clinical years, naya nanti.

and just knew that one of my respected teachers is transferring to another school.

another big loss to my alma mater.

immensely dedicated in everything she does.

*kurang seorang cikgu nak gossip with kalau singgah sekolah =P

-aku banyak belajar dari beliau-

cuti nih, tambah berat badan je la. makan tak bercatu; enjoying the moment.

yada2.

2011-11-12T18:17:00.003+08:00

when studying absorbs the soul out of you,

all you can think is, "why am i doing this?"

4 papers je pejal.

bertahan.

i always have good faith on others when it comes to exam, but seldom on myself.

confidence dah terhakis sikit demi sikit.

i'm babbling because i'm worried.

this year hasn't turned out the way i wanted.

many results are below my expectation, even the paper that i was quite confidence of.

i yearn for more.

and i know i can do better.

this is troubling me to the extent that i am doubting myself.

and breaking down 2 days before the first paper is not a good way to go.

anyhow, life must go on.

and these papers must be dealt with.

at least, i got home to look forward to after the exam. :)

-

2011-10-08T20:10:00.002+08:00

why do people turn to psychiatrist and counselors (read: strangers) but not those that are close to them?

1) these strangers are experts in their fields

2) they do not want to burden their loved ones with their problems. even the loved ones have their own.

3) telling the loved ones certain things might jeopardise the relationship. the least they want when in a problematic situation is having emotional issue with the loved ones.

i would really love to tell this to those i love, "dude/babe, you are my darling, and accepting you in my life, i'm ready for your best and for your worst. because why darling? i understand how it felt to bottle up those emotions and waiting for them to burst at any moment"

pfft, as if telling those as easy as they seem .....

this post is rather emotionally draining.

-

2011-10-01T10:20:00.003+08:00

dalam dunia kita, kita bermaharajalela

di luar, kita ditindas.

dan kita terus biar diri kita ditindas.

takut.

tiada keyakinan.

kurang kemahiran.

kerana kita masih dalam takuk minda lama.

sadly, these are also how i describe myself.

Exams and Holiday

2011-06-25T12:02:00.002+08:00

During the wait for SPM's result, I ask myself, will there be any other exams that create never ending worry every time I think about it.

The answer is this semester.

Never in my life I have this feeling when answering exam papers. The uneasiness, anxiety & furious-heart-beating moment after the first glance at the questions was simply unbearable.

For SAQ, after reading all the 29 questions, I felt a sudden chill back in my spine and I went blank for quite a while. After realising that panicking will not do any wonders, I just grabbed my pen and scribbling down answers.

For MEQ, the difficulty is pretty much the same, but I have seen SAQ before, thus my mind and soul were adapted to the situation.

For MCQ; well, let just say the if-one-paper-is-hard-the-others-will-be-easy condition was never applied to this semester's exam papers.

Anatomy, the only reason I really looked forward to it is to get everything done and over with. The paper was OK which was quite a nice cherry-on-top thing to ease bit of my tsunami-sed feelings. I have never been soooooooo happy in my life that exams are over.

After anatomy, I went to watch Cars 2 with Yuhin & Syuaib. to unwind the tangled mind.

On that night of the same day, 6 of us Malaysian had a trip to watch Mary Poppins (musical theater) which was AWESOME~!!!

Can't wait for the holiday with my family next month.

cinta?

2011-05-30T19:38:00.000+08:00

dalam ribuan malam,

antara jutaan bintang,

kau tetap yang bersinar terang,

yang paling tegar dalam ingatan.

kala siang menjengah,

membawa pergi cahaya mu,

aku tetap menunggu,

untuk malam kembali.

Oh, the northern star of my heart.

Shine forever, please?

For a dirt of the Earth to ask,

My favour is too much, I know.

----------------------------------------------------

ok, too much of these mushy2 posts.

but, writing about them are, in a way, easy to relate to for many of us.

love.

hatred.

satisfaction.

frustration.

life.

death.

they are what we see, experience, observe and do where death will be the finale of the events.

our God-given bodies, soul, minds and hearts are tested in every way and angle be it joy or despair.

human.

the simplest word to sum up all of them.

when I see myself in the mirror, sometimes I ask, "Who are you going to be today?".

Will I smile or frown?

Will I laugh or cry?

Will I be able to breathe until the end of the day?

The never ending questions.

Then I choose to let go off the worry, and be carefree.

But after you observe the love/hatred relationships of others, I choose to worry again.

"Will it be me next?"

I guess I get too worry of something that I should not.

Then I choose I write all the posts as if I am in those positions.

"What happen when I get heartbroken?"

"What happen when love has long begone?"

But there is one thing I seldom ask myself.

"What if I am really in love?"

Fifty people one question.

2011-05-28T15:05:00.002+08:00

There are videos on youtube that gather people to ask them one same question.

And this one asked them about what you regret about your life.

Regret.

One word that can make people pause and think for many hours.

Pause to recall all the moments that you can revisit.

Think, what can be done to change that.

I regret of being a coward; not brave enough to take risk.

I regret of being stupid; not seeing the many opportunities lay ahead.

I regret of having many lifeless moment; physically and emotionally.

There are even times I regret of being myself.

But then reality smacked me on the head.

Whatever or whoever I am now, is who I am should be proud of, at least for myself.

But, I shall try to make things I shall not regret later.

(Another) but, I am used to regret things, you see. *cursing myself*

Sampai malas nak berubah. <== haisyh

Sekarang, kembali kepada buku2 tebal dan nota. *sarcastic smile*

dunia

2011-05-20T14:19:00.002+08:00

jinakkan hati mu dengan cinta

maniskan dirimu dengan senyuman.

tapi jangan jinak sampai lemah dayus.

tapi jangan manis sampai dijilat lunyai.

dunia itu kejam,

kalau itu yang kau pilih.

biarkan?

2011-05-15T20:00:00.000+08:00

Si A:

"aku tahu semua itu,

apa itu halal,

apa itu haram,

tapi hati masih belum terima cahaya,

jiwa masih bergolak,

minda masih bercelaru,

nanti2 aku usaha kan"

Si B:

"tolong tiada nanti2,

tiada pasti esok masih muncul buat kita,

tiada tentu kita akan sempat kembali ke pangkal,

mulakan lah langkah pertama,

tetapkan lah langkah2 mu ke jalan satu,

aku kata semua ini pada kamu,

sebab aku kasih akan kamu"

Si A:

"argh!! apa kau tahu pasal aku,

kau dan aku berbeza hidupnya,

aku terumbang ambing di sini,

kau selesa di tempat hidup mu,

aku susah dengan hidup begini,

kamu senang lah nak buat segala yang putih bersih"

Si B:

"susah itu ujian,

senang itu ujian,

aku dulu macam kamu,

penuh kabur dan nafsu,

ku syukur semua itu hanyalah kisah lampau ku,

ku ambil langkah ku dikit2,

pada awalnya aku hendak mengalah,

tetapi syukur ada sahabat yang sudi menghulur tangan,

aku rendahkah ego ku,

ku cuba buka minda ku,

dan kini aku mahu cuba tolong mu,

kerana diri ini pernah seperti kamu"

-----------------------------------------------------

mereka yang kau kata sudah terpesong,

sanggup kah kau biarkan mereka tetap terpesong,

kau jauhkan diri kamu dari mereka,

mahu menjaga diri, kononnya,

sedangkan kau malu diri tak mampu,

aku tahu, kerana aku macam kamu~~~

---------

proses penyelongkaran drafts yang dah berhabuk.

got some/many writings being listed as drafts, maybe because:

1) they are too controversial back then

2) i forget to click "publish post"

now, since i am busy with studying (tergelak sinis kepada diri sendiri), maybe i'll just post these unposted stuffs that were put on hold for too long.

ayway, this stuff above that i wrote,

is not about people I've encountered, but only heard of.

and I found it interesting because:

1)bravery is never my thing especially to really talk about the matter above

2)people tends to label rather understand. *lets judging be only to Him*

3)we tend to try solve the litttle brittle problem, seldom the core. (e.g. an article from saiful islam website)

4)and everything is never a one-day process. it may take months, years or even decades.

anyway, my exam start on 14th june till 23rd june. then, 3 weeks winter holiday. yay

Blue Mountain

2011-04-24T23:00:00.000+08:00

On Wednesday,

Nasriq, Lokey & I went to the Blue Mountain for the second time since x buat apa sangat during the first visit.

Specifically, we went to Echo Point and Scenic World.

Bertolak dari Macarthur station menuju ke Katoomba station, a 3ish-hour ride.

Atas train bajet nak baca nota.

Lepas sejam lebih, straight sumbat nota balik dalam beg and enjoy the scenery outside.

Sejam before sampai, makan self-cooked nasi goreng for breakfast.

Then, sampai2 je, had a brief photography at Kingsford Smith Memorial Park's entrance kat atas.

Pastu, beli Subway (the usual one-foot Seafood Sensation) utk bekal lunch nanti.

Tunggu bas 686 kat depan Carlington Hotel.

Dan menuju Echo Point.

Echo Point

Basically, there is a look out for the Three Sisters (three giant rock/hill/wuteva side by side)

And I still wonder why I suddenly like to take pictures of rocks. hurm

Anyway, the highlights of the journey is the Three Sister Walk.

There is a pathways to the Three Sisters' back/side to get a clearer view of the humongous rock.

And to make things more adventurous, we tried the Giant Stairways which is long ride down/up.

There are 800+ steps. Steep and not uniform steps. After only descended 300 steps, I gave up. Nak asthma dada ni. Lepas sampai kat atas, jantung mcm kena sawan, gila laju berdetak. Tengok Nasriq, sama pancit cam aku. tengok Lokman, cool je maintain muka hanya berpeluh tanpa termengah2.

Scenic World

We took a 686 bus again, now to Scenic World.

The main attractions are the cable cars ride and the tour down below after taking the Scenic Railway/ Scenic Cableway.

Kitorang naik Scenic Railway dulu. It is a two way ride with sceneries of the nearby wonders (mountains, waterfall, etc). kat tengah2 ada cermin boleh see through ke bawah.

Pastu turun bawah nak gi pathways guna Scenic Railway. Sampai bawah, pusing2 the pathway & gi tgk waterfall yang more like dribbling rather than 'fall'. Tak hujan sangat kot.

Time the self-tour, kitorang solat and lunch with Subways yang beli before this.

Then balik naik atas guna Scenic Cableway.

Naik bas 696 balik ke bandar.

Sampai sana, pergi balik kat Kingsford Smith Memorial Park.

Ada jumpa taman kat bawah tu.

OMG, lawa.

Selamat Nasriq ngan Lokey paksa turun.

Sejam habis tangkap gambar.

Gambar kat FB Nasriq lagi lah mantap.

Very the picturesque.

Habis dah.

Pastu balik.

*Gila rojak bahasa. =.=

--------------------------------------------------------------

Have you ever felt that tingling feeling in your heart;

where you want to cry but you can't even shed a tear?

where you want to scream but no voice come out?

Your heart feels empty,

But somehow it is filled with negativity.

Your mind feels like running,

But away from the light, towards nothingness.

You feel anger.

You feel frustrated.

You are unable to decipher your own feeling.

You are unable to understand your own self.

Every kind words from others,

You reply harshly.

Every jokes uttered,

You take it very seriously.

Every cloud passing by,

You can only expect rain to pour down instantly.

Your mouth is sealed.

Your emotions are waiting to erupt...

*I can only ask for your patience. But, I'll never expect you to sustain it that long.

Channel your emotion to me, I'm ready.

Or, if I'm MIA, to God you should talk to. 24/7 wireless service everywhere, anywhere.

of Easter holiday

2011-04-17T21:00:00.000+08:00

I'm officially on Easter holiday.

Pejal: Mana buku dan nota2 ni.

*cari2**letak buku & nota atas meja**baca*

Pejal: Haisyh, apa ke benda "calvaria" nih.

*search wikipedia**baca**perasan ada fb notification**stuck with FB for hours*

Pejal: Astaghfirullah.

*geleng2 kepala**baca nota balik*

Pejal: Apa benda lak "branches of trigeminal nerve" ni?

*search wikipedia**dlm hati: ooooo, more notification**

few more hours wasted*

Pejal: Ya Rabbi

*baca nota**menguap**tido*

And this is what we call as holiday's life cycle. Insert solat, eating, personal moments wherever appropriate.

-Yes, I rely on wiki too much. Can't imagine how my sisters studied their stuffs without it

-And yes, I'm easily distracted. *sambil scroll through FB and tumblr*

------------------------------------------------------------------

Tadi gi Bondi Beach.

Dengan harapan nak tengok sunrise.

Ada la sunrise, tapi tercover dengan bukit.

Must search for sunrise watch place yang kuar dari laut *not 'kuar dari laut' literally*

You know, like this:

http://www.disassociated.com/2009/02/12/photo-sunrise-at-sydneys-coogee-beach/

Must go to coogee beach after this to have a pic of this panorama

*acece pejal, kat malaysia takde la ghairah nak cari sunrise pelbagai*

well, I *we* do tend to appreciate things at other places besides your own.

Lagipun, kat Malaysia, selalunya bangun2, matahari dah nak terbenam.

Camne nk tgk sunrise kan? *pfft*

------------------------------------------------------------------

And one more thing to do during this holiday.

Easter Show!

Nah~ never been to one before.

Dunno much what to expect.

What I know, they have rides and stuffs.

and also exhibition sepert arnab, kuda dan byk lagi.

and, I really dunno anything else about it.

Need to go to know la kan?

------------------------------------------------------------------

Saya nak amek hati awak, cantum dengan hati saya.

Tapi itu macam mencuri.

Kalau macam tu,

Biar awak amek hati saya.

Saya rela.

*mushy much? Deal with it. :P

Reefqi fly.

2011-04-15T19:18:00.002+08:00

Message rasmi kepada dewi agung.

"Ya ReeFQi~~~!!!

Sorry that none of us three can't send you off to land of matahari terbit (despite Australia lagi cepat from Japan).

You, without fail, sent us off despite the weird timings (mine was when you had exam/test in several days) . And we really appreciate that. We can only send our prayer and thought for you, hoping for the very best for your journey to and throughout your time in Japan.

And nasihat rasmi aku kepada sesiapa yang naik kapal terbang; Jangan try nak goda mana2 pramugara/pramugari. Jangan ngada2 nak menggedik ngan laki/pompuan seat sebelah ko (unless he/she is ur hubby/wife). Jangan berdengkur kuat sangat, ada ramai lagi passenger kat dalam plane tu (nasihat random tambahan)

Anyway. Seriously. Play safe....with all the robotic equipment. Bahaya kot benda2 elektrik nih.

Salam"

negatif atau manusia?

2011-04-04T00:00:00.000+08:00

sedih kan?

kalau asyik disalah erti.

geram kan?

kalau asyik dipandang tepi.

marah kan?

kalau asyik diracun hati.

kala sedih menjengah,

mahu sahaja biar tangisan berpanjangan.

kala geram meresap,

mahu sahaja biar suara tinggi bergetar.

kala marah merasuk,

mahu sahaja biar penumbuk bertemu muka.

tapi aku tahu,

tangisan lama bukan pengubat hiba.

tapi aku tahu,

jeritan menggila bukan penawar celaru.

tapi aku tahu,

membalas ganas bukan mereda hati yang panas.

ku salurkan tangisan ku pada Yang Pemurah.

ku lamakan kata2 ku pada Yang Mendengar.

ku abdikan diri ku pada Yang Esa.

seusai tidur.

ku cari teman.

lepaskan yang terbuku di jiwa.

ku kongsikan.

seusai cerita.

ku mampirkan diri ke alam.

mencari ketenangan.

dengan lukisan Dia.

seusai puas perhati.

ku cari diri dalam diri.

jangan biar diri puas ratapi.

kesedihan yang lama pergi.

tapi, aku tetap aku.

masih merasa semula perasaan itu.

aku manusia.

akur akan asli diri ku.

----------------------------------------

kawal lah insan, akan diri itu.

perasaan itu akan tetap hadir.

tapi kau akan pilih:

-biar perasaan merobek jiwa, atau

-salurkan perasaan pada alam yang luas

only He knows.

hurm.

2011-04-01T22:35:00.002+08:00

I feel plainly nothing throughout the previous 4.5 days (monday to mid friday)

Out of sudden, this 'kacau bilau' moment seeps in, very deeply.

Tetibe rasa beban.

What make it worse, i can't really understand the gravity of the situation.

The weird feeling is just there.

Petanda kena start study nih.

kenalan

2011-03-30T08:02:00.003+08:00

Di kedai buku.

A: Ha, Faidzal. Long time no see. Kau mesti dah tak ingat nama aku kan?

Faidzal: Long time no see gak, >nama penuh A<. Pergh dah besar dah ko *nada makcik2 yang prihatin*

*continue basa-basi*

*priceless moments when you still remember their names when they don't expect it.*

---

Terserempak di kedai makan.

B: Faidzal. Apa khabar? *berbasa basi*

Faidzal: Hi! *berbasa basi gak*

B: K r ciow dulu.

Faidzal: tata

*Selamat dia x suruh tanya nama, sumpah x ingat. At least ingat muka*

---

Di majlis keramaian

C: Faidzal. Ingat aku lagi tak?

Faidzal: .....

C: tak ingat la tu.

Faidzal: .....

C: takpe2. at least ko ingat muka aku.

Faidzal: .....

Pastu jumpa D sekali

D: Hi C, What's up?

C: Siling, Wei, Faidzal tak ingat aku dowh.

Faidzal: .....

D: Budak ni memang camni. Maafkan la dia

Faidzal: =.=

C blah.

Borak2 ngan D.

Faidzal: Serius tak ingat.

D: *Memberi biodata C* Tak ingat lagi?

Faidzal: Seriusly satu kelas dulu? =.="

D: Mangkuk r ko.

*Damn*

tralalala

2011-03-28T03:10:00.001+08:00

Reading back all my previous posts.

I laughed, giggled and puked a bit.

Haha.

Even I can believe myself writing all those words.

Watching myself entering to different levels of life, is sure do fun.

Main purpose of writing in this blog has been accomplished, within this short time.

More to come, perhaps~

--------------------------------------------------

Trying to start doing PBL...

After 10minutes into reading some Anatomy stuffs, "Ooooo, notifications"

Stop 'for a while'.

Then realised that 1 hour has passed.

Regret, read back from the start since has forgotten what I read previously.

10 minutes later, "Ooooo, another notification"

Darn it~

Yup, I thank to God for FB is famous after my SPM.

---------------------------------------------------

I am trying to do something randoms here and there.

I am a boring person, so by doing some unpredictable things, maybe it can spice things up.

Maybe.

---------------------------------------------------

OWH~!!!

mesti berjimat cermat.

ramble.

2011-03-18T20:38:00.003+08:00

Can I Just smack you hard on the forehead,

and kiss it back passionately?

You are adorably annoying.

-----------------------------------------------

Dah nak masuk week 6.

Dah masuk Musculoskeletal System.

And, cuti mid-sem lagi sebulan, woot2.

UWS & Kumon

2011-02-20T20:27:00.002+08:00

sudah satu minggu di UWS untuk tahun kedua.

ho yeah.

mari semangat~!!!

ok, masih mood bercuti.

PBL punya kerja pun tak mula lagi.

this is not good.

nak present lagi dua hari.

dan esok dah bertambah homework; tutorial PPD. *ho yeah*

persevere my dear mind and soul.

*tarik nafas dalam2*

*jangan hyperventilate*

ok, sem ni ada tiga systems.

renal.

musculoskeletal.

neuro.

sekarang tengah menelaah buah pinggang.

nephron yang halus tapi amat penting.

pundi kencing yang perlu dikosong kala sudah terima isyarat *tahan lama2, kesian kat pundi nak tahan*

and others.

hoh, rasa seperti ilmuwan. tapi masuk tutorial aritu, rasa seperti kanak2 blur. haisyh.

gila mengarut.

oh lagi satu.

masuk praktikal anatomi, dah kena sergah ngan doktor.

minta posterior abdo wall, tergasi anterior. haisyh

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

teringat masa hantar niece ke kumon.

jam kul 6.00ptg

hantar budak kecik masuk kelas.

time nak hantar mereka, ada student 8 tahun tanya cikgu kumon;

student: cikgu, asar habis kul brape?

cikgu: er? lebih kurang 7.15. nape?

student: saya tak sembahyang lagi. saya nak sembahyang dulu jap eh?

cikgu: *senyum dan angguk2*

student pun blah gi cari surau la kot.

cikgu still muka terkesima sedikit, mungkin first time budak 'hingusan' tanya pasal waktu solat.

aku time darjah 2 pun sembahyang still liat.

dia dah risau takut habis waktu solat.

Ya Allah, dalam kelam moral kini,

masih terpancar sinaran.

terima kasih kerana beri aku peluang untuk menjadi saksi.

dan semoga student tadi terus mendapat bimbingan-Mu.

09/02/2011

2011-02-10T00:10:00.002+08:00

Alang2 bapa hendak ke KL, daku pun pergi lah ke KL Sentral nak renew grads card dengan harapan nak naik MAS tahun ni balik Malaysia. Selamat Lokey call semalam, t'trigger la juga nak renew. Sampai around 9 dan bapa akan ambil daku di Jalan Tuanku Rahman around 12. Ok, bosan tak tahu nak buat apa.

Lepas dah renew, pergi la McD. Mengidam big breakfast la pulak. Hash Brown tambah lagi satu. Lepas beli, letak la makanan di atas satu meja dan pergi la nak ambil sos dan gula. On the way ke tempat sos, ada mak cik cleaner McD menghalang perjalanan. Maka sebagai insan berbudi bahasa, aku cakap lah 'tumpang lalu cik' dengan penuh sopan santun. Mak cik cleaner pun memberi laluan, lalu daku ambil sos dan gula. Dah duduk, letak sos kat roti dan sapu guna plastik letak sos tu. Dan2 mak cik cleaner datang lalu berkata, 'ni lupa ambil sudu garfu' sambil tersenyum dan memberi sudu garfu berplastik kepada daku. Aku stunned. Aku senyum balik dan ucapkan terima kasih, tetiba teringat cerita Khurafat part mak cik tua gasi makanan kat Johan. Ok, pemikiran negatif perlu dibuang. Tengok mak cik cleaner td, takde pun stare aku macam mak cik dalam cerita Khurafat. Ok, serius kena fikir benda lain. Sambil tuang gula dalam kopi,teringat ada seorang tu yang letak gula satu tan dalam kopi dia. *cough* Reefqi *cough* bwahaha. Ok, minda, sila cari idea baru.

Apa nak buat? Baru pukul 10.30. Fikir 5 minit. 'Since Jalan Tuanku Rahman turun kat Chow Kit Monorail, singgah Times Squre jap lah'. Yes! idea bijak. Sampai Times Square, blur pulak nak buat apa. Singgah Borders jap. Bosan gak. Maka, kaki pun pergi lah ke Secret Recipe, badan dan anggota lain turut serta, of course. Lepas gian kat Chocolate Indulgence. Kat Australia, Melbourne je aku tahu ada Secret Recipe. Dan2 teringat akan Chan di India yang tak gemar Tiramisu. *acece*

Jam dah pukul 11.40, pastu teringat yang bapa kata tunggu kat sogo bahagian Jalan Tuanku Rahman. *bahaya teringat separuh ayat je*. Kalau gitu, kena naik LRT Ampang line. Interchange kat Hang Tuah. Pastu ke Bandaraya.

Dalam Sogo, alan2 bapa akan terlewat sikit, maka bersiar2 la kejap di bahagian jual beli pakaian. Nampak jeans half price. Hehe. Beli

Nampak shorts dikaun. Hehe. Beli.

Shopping sambil sms Bota yang bakal berangkat ke China untuk meningkatkan ekonomi negara itu. Happy je gaya segala reply.*aku mampu shopping sini je, Bota*

Dan naik lah kereta bersama2 bapa ke rumah datuk dan nenek. Minta restu sebelum berangkat pulang ke bukan tanah air Jumaat ini. Gusar sungguh perasaan. Kat sana dah takde Acap sms 'Jal, jom kuar esok'. =P nak suruh Akbar ganti r. *aku rasa Akbar pernah ajak. cuma tak terpenuh lagi permintaan. tahun ini akan cuba* *cough* Macarthur ke City sejam kot *cough*

gila rambling tak tentu hala.

mana2 guru bahasa, harap ampunkan segala kerojakan dan ketidaktentuan tatabahasa.

Only He knows the best.

movies

2011-02-05T01:01:00.000+08:00

Movies that I’ve watched

1) Khurafat

Seronok ‘melihat’ *baca: tutup mata selalu* kebangkitan wayang Malaysia dalam genre seram. Takde lah asyik nak mengharap pada hantu terbang yang terkantoi ada tali ke apa. Cerita ni ada umph *kalau tak, takde lah aku asyik tutup mata :P*. Pantang dengar muzik dah pelik, tangan dah sedia di mata, badan disenget ke tepi dan tunggu jeritan kakak dan abang di sekeliling *panggung wayang penuh kot*.

2) Christmas Carol

I should have watched in 3D when it came out. Love the visual, cinematography, whatever you name it. Quite scary though in some parts: Jacob Marley’s comeback and the Spirit of Christmas Future. Can imagine kiddies who were expecting an innocent movie getting terrified watching these two scenes. Anyway, very classy. Do hope that Harry Potter can be expressed in this kind of visual, full version without any cut of the plot. *drooling in happiness from only thinking about it*

3) Black Swan

I dunno how to really describe this movie. Sick? Deep? It was amazing in a dark way. Natalie Portman really nailed it in this one. Her portrayal of Nina was simply perfect. She deserves the Globe Award. Again, it was totally sick in a superb way. Really gave an insight of what a psychotic person would think and act. But, for a warning, DO NOT WATCH IF YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE. It could make you more depressed. *Like watching Changeling*

4) The King’s Speech

Tears in my eyes. Like Natalie up there, Colin Firth does deserve the Globe Award. It is mediocre to act as a commoner. It’s hard to act the upper-class. It’s like damn difficult to act out a stammer men. Kudos Colin. The movie is inspiring; overcoming your since-childhood problem in a brave way. Understanding the source of a problem rather than attacking it blindfoldedly. It’s always marvellous to have a friend who know what you need rather than what you want.

5) The Social Network

Not la intense as what some said. *Acece, sape la ckp intense* Frankly, I felt sad whenever Eduador tell his part of the story. The betrayal vs trust thingy. On the other hand, for Mark (in the film) to maintain his poker face throughout the rough journey was impressive. I would say, the actors really added wonderful flavours to the movie. I like how all the actor can be perfect in their respective roles and to really indulge into the movie without have to criticise their performances here and there.

Kamal Bookstore

2011-01-30T20:05:00.003+08:00

Kata Kamal Bookstore:

“WE ARE OPENED ON ALL THE DAYS EXCEPT HARI RAYA HAJI & HARI RAYA PUASA

BUSINESS HRS:

MON- SAT- 9.00 A.M TO 8.00 P.M

SUNDAY- 9.00 A.M TO 2.00 P.M ”

They are quite fast in replying my email. Within 24 hours. Talking about efficiency. =)

Any inquiry to them, just email kmedical@streamyx.com . Or give ‘em a call 03-40210575.

*Kalau mereka tak reply email, send them one more time. Terlepas pandang tu*

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I’ve been to Kamal several times before.

Dulu nak teman kakak beli, sekarang kena beli untuk diri sendiri. =) Quite an excellent place to buy affordable medical books. Lots and lots of medical books. Don’t be deceived by its outer appearance. Macam kedai runcit biasa je tengok dari luar. Masuk2, pergh, macam library. (exaggerate :P) Selalu pergi naik kereta je. Opposite HKL kat Jalan Pahang. Of course bring my dad along, with my ‘ketidakmahiran’ in parking. :P

Tapi pernah sekali try ngan public. Naik monorail, turun kat Chow Kit. Turun2 station, yakin je jalan. Rupa2nya kat Jalan Ipoh. =.=”. Buka la juga GPS kat phone yang murah dari iPhone. Nak ke sana, turun dari station Chow Kit (baca: turun tangga), belok kiri (jangan terus lintas jalan dan belok kanan, itu ke Jalan Ipoh) ke arah belakang sikit. If you come across a lot of shops on your first 50 steps, tu Jalan Ipoh la namanya, sila patah balik.

Picture extracted from all-lovable Google (Map). Aku tokok tambah sesedap hati.

Minggu lepas gi beli some books there, Patho, Anat, Clinical Exam; and a penlight too (pen yang cahaya, if you dunno what it is. This is one of the things in med that i’m still ‘jakun’ to play with besides stethoscope and tendon hammer =D).

Sekarang, tinggal packing and fly away. Yosh~!

outings

2011-01-25T14:10:00.003+08:00

I went to i-City (near Seksyen 7) with my bro-in-law, sis & nieces.

The fees:

-Entry with a car: RM10

-Snow Village/Room/wuteva-they-call-it: RM25 (can use the RM10 entry ticket to get RM10 discount - *updated*only for one person)

-Zoo Thingy; got animal (patung) decorated with lights: RM 2. (still can use the RM10 entry ticket)

*The RM10 entry can only be used in either one.

We went into the Snow Village. Sejuk Giler~ We heard it was -10⁰C (Kalau tak negative, susah la nak maintain kebekuan kan?). It was not just sight-seeing inside. There are three slides that you can play.

1)Mini-sledge. Yang macam Santa Claus guna, tapi kecik nya. Ais licin = less friction = agak laju. :P ada bahagian tak rata, so there was a slight bump. *Baru rasa macam terbang sikit kan?*

2)Slide guna mini tikar. Macam main gelongsor biasa. Dia gasi tikar kecik nak alas punggung *ais basah* Fun jugak r.

3)Doughnut. You sit in the middle of doughnut yang tak berlubang. Then, the abang jaga slide ni akan tarik the doughnut to make it (and you) swirl around masa turun.

*All names are created by the writer sesedap hati sebab tak tau the real names*

And jalan2 kat sekitar. I-City is famous for its pembaziran elektrik untuk menyalakan lampu kat pokok dan haiwan2 ciptaan. Nice place for photography and such.

And dengar cerita nak ada wayang kat situ. *Harap2 the RM10 entry can be used :P*

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Went out with Bota, Qari & Acap at Times Square on Thaipusam Day.

Activities:

-They tortures me with “Apa Kaitan” teka teki. Don’t ask me about, I still don’t get it.

-Wayang cerita Khurafat. Macam biasa, aku tutup mata half of the story. Banyak terkejut. Style macam Shutter *the shocks*. Nice to know that Malaysian cinematic experience is getting better nowadays. *I’m not talking about 2 Alam*

- Beli barang kat Low Yat. *terserempak Chola, dah tinggi panjang. Aku tanya apa tips? Dia jawab, jangan makan sayur =.=”*

- Dinner kat Food Court Low Yat. *ada orang belanja Big Apple, slurp*

- Many laughter.

The only outing aku tak jejak KTM. Pagi naik LRT Taman Jaya since father was OTW to somewhere.

That night balik to LRT Kelana Jaya since my sis faham ketidakefisienan KTM. *like*

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Went out with jejaka J-One & wanita J-Two at OU on the next day.

-Arif (adik Lokey)

-Haikal

-Lokey

-Syafiq

-Intan

-Safura

-Sarah

-Zubaidah @ Jubet

Activities:

- Gelak banyak2 sampai kenyang.

- Lunch kat Carl’s Junior

- Baseball kat Roof

- Dinner kat Baskin Robbin (Lupa nak proper dinner that night, so assume this as dinner) *Jag air buat harta*

My dad hantar sampai OU sebab gi KL in the morning.

Then my mum amek kat KTM Shah Alam. *thanx Lokey hantar sampai KTM Subang*

------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Saturday, had a cosy family outing at Sunway Hotel.

Fasa bersenang lenang bersama-sama keluarga.

Sampai2, nak lunch kat food court. I just knew there is a food court kat Sunway Pyramid. Gi Jusco level LG2. OTW there, terserempak with the J-Oneights. HiHi.

Lepas dah lunch join diorg kat J.Co

- Ma’il

- Rhymie

- Syafiq

- Ecah

- Naddy

- Nadiah J.

Join sekejap dah tergelak. :P

Lepas diorg balik, berehat2 kat bilik, then dinner kat Asian Avenue dengan family.

The next morning, gi mandi-manda kat swimming pool. Pool kat tower sebelah.

*dah lama x berendam*

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A circle has no beginning. Potong somewhere in the middle. Make it a line.

of mind.

2011-01-17T19:42:00.000+08:00

Deactivate facebook buat sementara waktu.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ramai yang khusyuk kala khatib bergempita.

Tetapi tetap tercari-cari tika agama diasingkan di luar masjid.

*Peringatan buat diri*

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dalam lewa aku berkata2 gelak ketawa

Dalam terawang2 tidak sedar, penuh gembira,

Ku biarkan bait2 kata keji lepas begitu sahaja,

Tanpa sedar bahana yang bakal menimpa.

Dalam sepi ada hati yang terluka

Dalam diam ada perasaan rasa dihina,

Aku terpaku sesal, sesal tiada guna,

Terfikir solusi yang tidak akan ada makna.

Hati berbicara sedang mulut terkunci

Emosi bercampur, minda bagai terhenti

Kabut untuk merungkai benci yang bersemi

Masa depan sudah kabur tiada cahaya menanti.

Aku biarkan dunia berlari laju

Biarkan diri menggapai yang mana mampu,

Kekuatanku tidak pernah pada pemikiran ku

Teresak-esak bagaimana mahu menggalas dengan padu.

*Seorang insan yang lemah menghayati erti kehidupan penuh cubaan, terutama yang disebabkan oleh diri sendiri. *

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pak Cik Kedai: Ni dah form berapa?

Aku: *Eh?* Dah kat uni dah *tersenyum*

Kawan bapa: Sekolah form berapa?

Aku: Dah masuk uni, uncle. *tersenyum*

Awet muda la katakan~ :P

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“If I've learned anything, it's that we can never let the chaos and injustice make us so blind with anger we become part of the problem. Understanding, compassion, kindness, and love are the only true evolutionary ideals. When we compromise those, we become what we despise and we lose our humanity.” June Harris in “Bones” (episode: Soccer mom in the mini-van)

*We try to revolutionise the world into our own definition of ideal. But one problem is, we = many. There are lots of ‘ideal’ with one concept of ideal is further defined into many subdefinitions. This is where we truly forget that it is us who are trying to live in this world, not some aliens of perfection. Thus, the true ‘perfection’ is following the concept of human being and that is what the above quotation lies true in my mind. However, this is only one of the concepts of an ideal world. *

minggu lepas

2011-01-12T14:54:00.003+08:00

Singgah Kamal Bookstore kat Jalan Pahang, mahu lihat harga sebelum betul2 membeli nanti.

Hasil dapatan:

· Gray’s Anatomy – RM95

· Talley O’Connor – RM 75

· Robbins & Cotran Patho – RM175

· Anatomy flashcard

o Gray’s – RM85

o Netter’s – RM 85

o Rohen – RM115

· Patho flashcard – RM80 (Robbins & Cotran)

· Rohen Color Atlas of Anatomy – RM215

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Tron Legacy:

-Grafik smart *drool*

-Olivia was good *watak blur2 innocent yang hot ketika berlawan*

- Plot was quite cliché (acece)

- Skrip bagai tidak kena sangat

- Grafik smart. :P

Narnia:

- A wonderful fairy tale

- A so-so movie

- Plot banyak klimaks yang cepat terlerai (no building up)

- Aslan; what’s your function selain tukar Eustace balik jadi manusia? Baik ko mengaum awal2, senang hidup (but there will be no plot la then)

Easy A

- An excellent comedy

- Emma Stone was flawless for this character

- The subplots (the adopted son, the past of Olive’s mother) were equally funny

- I like the way it was told (webcam); macam imbas kembali

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took one freaking month for AUD to strengthen against other currencies.

But it just took one week for it to plummet. =.=”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Niece: Pak Su, 1+3 apa?

Pak Su: 4

Niece: Salah

Pak Su: *alahai, main soalan trick lak budak nih* 13

Niece: Salah gak

Pak Su: *Soalan trick mana budak ni pakai lak?* Abeh tu, apa jawapan dia?

Niece: B.

I’m enlightened.

AJL 25

2011-01-10T00:05:00.000+08:00

AJL 25:

kritikan tak bertauliah dari insan ini...

yuna (cinta sempurna)

-vokal, as expected

-like the prop (pokok besar);dalam maksud tu.

tomok (berlari)

-benarlah seperti orang kata, suara dah tak sengau

-sekali tengok macam adam lambert. ho ho ho

API (pelita)

-vokal, ok.

-like the opening lighting.

shahir (kebahagian dalam perpisahan)

-perempuan itu seperti mengganggu persembahan

-vokal macam mendatar throughout

MUH & black (drama king)

-persembahan pertama yang sampai 'feel' dia

-vokal, as expected form Black

-like the rhythm

hafiz (noktah cinta)

-vokal, boleh tahan (jarang dengar lagu dia)

-rhytym, sway-able (liuk2 ikut rentak)

-very like the gimik. haha

ana raffali (tolong ingatkan aku)

-vokal, may i say it was weak. (the judges didn't agree though)

-rhythm best

faizal tahir (selamat malam)

-loves everything

-the drama was sweet. :)

_i'm biased_ :P but you can't deny the awesome-ness.

-suara macam tahan sikit. affected by past infection?

adira (ku ada kamu)

-vokal, boleh tahan.

bunkface (ekstravaganza)

-very like going to a gig (yeza); very energetic

-muka Sam macam tengah high. haha

-like the slow part

black (sofea jane)

-vokal, sedap

-a very innocent song

faizal tahir (hanyut)

-like the new music arrangement

-his high note still left me wanting.

-surprises here and there. fresh ideas.

stacy (jahat)

-energetic, as usual

-ada part macam jerit

-enjoyable, still

hujan (mencari konklusi)

-a new music arrangement gak?

-vokal; mendatar.

---------------------------------------------------------

Result:

Persembahan terbaik: Hanyut (faizal tahir); very worth it :)

Vokal terbaik: Noktah Cinta (hafiz); x bajet haha

Tempat ketiga: Noktah Cinta (hafiz)

Tempat kedua: Drama King (Meet Uncle Hussein & Black)

Tempat pertama: Tolong Ingatkan Aku (Ana Raffali) <== aku x tau tang mana dia gempak.

well hey, that's competition.

---------------------------------------------------------

i enjoy the theme where they recap the past winners.

nostalgic.

the 3 supernovas (as said by elly), were epic.

that's the standard for what music should be.

the main elements of music must not be put aside; vocal, rhythm & lyrics (well, my definition)

if either one is missing, the song will left you wanting.

---------------------------------------------------------

also, the emcees must be given credits.

serius penceria keadaan.

FBI, elly iskandar, cheryl samad; do be emcess for next year as well.

just in case next year shows are like this year's.

azam?

2011-01-02T23:49:00.000+08:00

sudah 2011.

the feelings stay.

the emotions magnified.

& lets just hope the maturity grows with them.

hurm...

kalau terfikir masa depan.

banyak yang terlintas.

apa sudah sedia minda untuk kelas bermula nanti?

apa barang kena sedia sebelum terbang kembali?

apa keseronokan yang diidam2 dulu sudah dibuat?

duit dalam bank sudah disusun?

duit dalam dompet sudah dikira2?

duit untuk masjid dah get ready?

damn.

fikir serius sangat.

anyway,

azam tahun baru?

never had one.

aku ada hasrat yang sentiasa muncul setiap masa, jadi itu tak kira sebagai 'azam tahun baru'.

jadi, apa hasrat?

-mahu belajar ala nerd.

-mahu saving ala stingy.

-mahu shopping ala 'tak ingat dunia'

-mahu hias badan ala metrosexual. (lol)

-mahu kahwin ala romantik. (tunggu beberapa tahun lagi)

& of course, -mahu abadikan diri ala hamba yang sedar diri.

wishlist aku

-ipod nano (bought) *under mp3 category*

-wallet baru (bought)

-kasut baru

-dumbbell

-mouse baru

-headphone + mic baru

-external hard disk

-pentorch yang owh-some *nerd*

----------papehal, tambah lagi.

kalau bosan terperap di rumah, keluarlah dah hayati keindahan alam (atau shopping mall, doesn't really matter)

& Harry Potter part 2.

CEPAT lah wei.

nak tengok 'wand' pancut warna-warni sambil 'stun/kill/jinx/curse' ahli sihir yang lain.

David Yates, diharapkan kau dah hasilkan perang di Hogwarts yang 'unforgettable'.

& why does Merong Mahawangsa have to be released in March?

I'm already at UWS at that time.

kat Australia ada ke x? hurm.

pretty much my babblings & ramblings for tonight.

nyte.

2011

2011-01-01T00:12:00.001+08:00

new year

new stuffs ahead

new things to experience

this life will still be the one and only life i have.

doodling every bits here and there.

happy new year.

ipod nano.

2010-12-31T19:30:00.001+08:00

my new baby.

*wink2*

setelah 5 kali klik "buy" pastu "cancel", akhirnya bernekad lah juga hati untuk membeli.

semoga hidup lama di sisi ku.

30&31/1/2/2010

2010-12-31T14:43:00.000+08:00

CHAN~!!!

his birthday yesterday.

dah 20 tahun.

dah besar dah dia, sobs2.

sebab dia sedang menelaah di luar negara ketika semalam,

i went to KL with Qari to celebrate.

Chan, kitorg tengok Tron 3D kat GSC Maxx. Makan Subway. & beli barang baju sejuk untuk Qari kat Uniqloo (google tempat nih, Qari yang introduce kat aku)

best kan cara kitorang celebrate. bwahaha.

nway, if we meet, i belanja u food. jangan cekik darah sudah. :)

& esok 1 Jan.

see you next year.

baby girl

2010-12-27T20:47:00.000+08:00

ME - uncle for the 8th newcomer to the family.

another budak kecik who will grow up not recognising me because i'll be away during her crucial phase of growing. just like the previous two. i'm still trying to get along with those two.

*setapak aku dekat ngan diorg, sekilometer dirog lari dari aku dengan tangisan, lolz*

may barakah fills in, prosperity grows & laughter enlightens this family.

Oh Allah, thank You.

manusia itu ada hati

2010-12-24T23:08:00.000+08:00

Sudah lah kata dusta,

Sudah lah kata nista,

Itu hanya justifikasi kau kepada dunia

Betapa tidak kisahnya kau kepada dia.

Segala kisah manis tidak pernah pudar

Namun kisah pahit itu tetap buat kau terluka,

Tapi dalam sedar yang kelam

Kau masih mahu perhatian dari dia.

Bukan dia yang kau benci

Hanya sikap yang menjadi duri kepada diri.

Hanya satu yang dipinta,

Jangan dibiar benci terus membara,

Kelak terhalang sinar cinta yang lebih mulia.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dalam kecewa berbolak balik kau,

Pernah terfikir segala bakti seribu yang dia tabur?

Pernah hati tersindir dengan budi kau yang sedikit kalau nak dibanding?

Dan kau kecewa kerana duri sedikit yang tercalar di hati kau,

Sedang duri kau pernah buat dia berdarah?

Pernah tercelik di minda

Dia pernah ‘renang lautan api’ demi kau?

Pernah terdetik di jiwa

Dia juga punya perasaan, juga sensitif seperti kau?

Dan kau hanya mampu kata

Dia seorang sahaja tidak mampu memahami,

Sedangkan dia yang sudah merasai baik buruk kau.

Cerminlah diri,

Dan jangan biar cermin itu terus biar kau hanyut dalam keindahan kata-kata sendiri.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Siapa kata dia tidak pernah rasa kecewa,

Jauhi diri dia

Itu bukan manusia.

of result and life.

2010-12-19T21:15:00.000+08:00

12 days ago, the result was released.

i thank God for it.

having managed to pass it was great

& getting 72 for total mark was quite above the expectation.

again, Alhamdulillah.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

watched some movies:

1)due date.

simply annoying.

2)how to train your dragon.

quite fun to watch.

3)despicable me.

cute.

4)star trek.

highly watchable. more less like star wars.

5)rapunzel.

enjoyable. like parts of the scripts.

want to watch:

1)narnia

2)tron 3D

3)step up

4)easy a

5)legend of the guardians

6)social network

7)hantu kak limah balik rumah (they say it's fun)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

later will try to buy some medic books at kamal.

based on this year needs, i would like to buy:

-gray's anatomy

-talley o'connor clinical exam

-robbins & cotran patho basic

-boron physio(still thinking)

-ecg in 10 days (kak nik's suggestion)

-anatomy flashcards (nak baca dalam train konon nya)

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& OMG~!

Reefqi dapat Waseda.

first choice kot.

proud of you, dude.

3 months before fly nih.

hayatilah Malaysia ni sebaik2nya. :P

& we shall enjoy ourselves.

& we shall add Bota to the joy after he gets back here.

& dude,

fly high~

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

reading statuses of break ups make me sad.

they are just full of hatred and agony.

IMHO with no couple experience whatsoever,

just settle it between yourselves without telling or shouting to the world that you guys just broke up.

privacy is everything.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

enjoying this peaceful holiday.

peace, literally.

kembali pulang

2010-12-06T19:35:00.000+08:00

malaysia, home sweet home.

arrived safely on thursday night.

gembira hati hanya Tuhan yang tahu.

mai nak habaq pi apa jadi minggu lepas.

b4 fly (di aust)

OMG, rumah untuk next year tak jumpa lagi, camne nk buat?

searching high & low for a suitable one to fit us 8. *yes, 8*

first time nak cari, tanpa sebarang pengalaman, memang haru biru la kan.

1) kena gi rumah & view. kat umah nanti after viewing, baru dpt application form. (kalo tak view, tak boleh nak apply)

2) pastu tunggu landlord boleh terima kita tak.

3) then bayar deposit. kena tunggu confirmation landlord balik.

nampak simple je kan. tapi kitorg first step dah sangkut. balik rabu, isnin baru nak start cari, memang nak dapat waktu utk view pun payah la kan~

kalo ada rumah yang cun dan memenuhi syarat pun, selalu ramai yang berebut nak. (ada satu rumah yang kitorang berkenan, viewing for the first session pun dah penuh =.=")

yang step 2 & 3, tak merasa lagi.

last2, tak nak ambil risk, apply je student uni accom.

the journey back home

shahrul, yuhin & i took jetstar from sydney to singapore, then flew from singapore to LCCT with tiger airways.

kat singapore, sampai2 je, blur nak buat apa.

lepas dah sorted things out, we ate first. ada bawa bekal nasi goreng yang shahrul goreng.

then keep our baggage at 'simpanan bagasi' for only S$7.50 for the first 24 hours. (one big bag & one small bag)

pusing2 tiga2 terminal. serabut pula nak buat apa tunggu sampai pagi (arrived at changi airport around 10pm)

then kat terminal 3, bought a caramel latte at coffee bean, layan scott pilgrim until halfway then snoozed off till subuh. (solat maghrib + isya' kat tangga terminal 1 & subuh kat hallway tersembunyi di terminal 3)

pagi tu, keluar bersiar2 di singapore

naik MRT gi Eunos. nak tengok ada apa kat malay village

turun2, pekena roti canai (roti pratha in singapore) & teh tarik. pergh. terkenang memori lalu. * exaggerate*

habis2, bersiar2 di tepi jalan menuju ke satu destinasi yang terjumpa. ntah kat mana malay village tu. *dah tanya dua orang, x jumpa lagi, memang kena tanya lagi la ni*

last2, singgah pasar geylang serai. round2 je. macam market kat seksyen 6.

pastu decide nak bergambar dengan merlion (singa pancut air ikut mulut)

naik MRT lagi ke Raffles Place.

turun2, blur lagi. teruskan berjalan.

tanya seorang mamat local, jumpa la juga merlion.

besides merlion ada la bergambar dengan esplanade, ship on the three building (tak tau nama building), parliament building.

after that, searched for a place to have lunch. pusing2, ada la kedai diberi nama "Hawa restaurant" sebelah kedai Es Teller yang tak buka lagi.

pekena nasi ayam & honey dew juice. *lepas rindu lagi*

then, headed back to airport.

2/12/2010

naik Tiger Airways. cheap flight je. mula2 patut naik kul 7 pagi. dan2 a month before, dia tunda sampai kul 5ptg. lahabau. tapi takpe. dapat jalan2 skit kat singapore.

sampai LCCT around 7pm. keluar2, abah tak cam. as what my sister said, "rambut cam rockstar" smart, ok~ *masuk lif, tekan butang atas*

and yeah, sampai rumah after pekena satay Hj Samuri.

& now, kena explore Shah Alam lagi menyeluruh. your Geography is terrible when anyone from other state knows your place better than you.

conclusion:

penat + puas

next year nak ambil MAS. senang hidup

makan puas2.

yezza

2010-11-25T14:23:00.000+08:00

the smell of freedom never been this sweeter.

3 weeks of anxiousness and mind-wrecking moments have finally been put into rest.

i've put in the best effort i can & now i shall pray to Allah everything is alright.

summary of exams.

1)SAQ & MEQ

putting these two in the first week was sure a motivator-buster.

picking up every little bit of confidence left after answering them on the first Monday & Wednesday.

2)MCQs

two papers; one was tad hard, another was quite manageable.

3)anatomy spot test

frankly, easier than expected. but, i would never know what the examiners really want.

but,

the third station was messy.

the last station; not expecting to be asked every little detail of the vertebrae.

overall; had migraine for every paper. need to be relieved with a bit dose of chocolate and undisturbed sleep.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

another way to relieve stress; watching movie.

harry potter and the deathly hallows part 1.

i have mixed feelings for it.

in one way, i am satisfied with the story which follow the novel's storyline quite well.

but, there is a loophole that i can't seem to know what.

however, it was enjoyable.

my rating will be around 7-8/10.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

kerisauan yang tiada berbalas.

A risaukan kehidupan B sepanjang tahun.

B tidak ambil kisah akan kesusahan A walaupun untuk sesaat.

dunia, aku nampak tidak adil.

namun,

segalanya ketentuan Ilahi,

segalanya ada kisah tersendiri,

segalanya untuk aku cari dan fahami.

Tuhan,

bersyukur atas kesusahan itu susah,

namun tiada bebanan yang aku tidak mampu pikul,

janji-Mu bukan janji manusia yang penuh bermadah pujangga.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

shopping2. :)

exam

2010-10-09T10:43:00.000+08:00

exam is starting on the 8th of november.

mukadimah dgn paper SAQ.

followed by MEQ.

then two MCQ papers.

anatomy spot test x tau lg.

*breathe in breathe out*

alia> not from a korean song/lyrics. :P unless kalo ko consider aku korean. :PP

----------------------------------------------------------

how many post already bout exams? haha

risau teramat.

rasa?

2010-10-06T15:00:00.000+08:00

kau sedang gembira,

izinkan lah diri mu tertawa,

lihatlah dunia penuh warna,

hayati lah keindahan sementara.

kau sedang bersedih,

izinkan lah diri mu menangis,

meratapi jangan lah sekali,

beri lah peluang minda mu merintih sunyi.

dunia penuh tawa dan duka,

itu lumrah yang semua rasa.

tidak Tuhan beri ujian,

melainkan kau boleh galas.

kau dan aku lain caranya,

itu buat kita berbeza,

tapi tujuan kita sama,

untuk capai gembira selama2nya.

tapi, bukankah ukiran marmar itu perlukan dikikir,

sebelum mencapai hasil yang menarik?

kalau manusia, diri dikikir mesti rasa sakit, bukan?

kejayaan selalu datang selepas kesusahan,

untuk kau hargai dengan penuh makna.

yada2

2010-10-04T12:54:00.000+08:00

tetibe rasa nk post gambar ini di sini juga. =P

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

being slacking off lately. well, for this whole semester, frankly.

loss or lack of motivation. or just too much ~~unnecessary~~ thing to think about.

priorities. no too good on that one, i guess.

baru first year, wei. dah kalut gile. ngess.

belum masuk clinical years lagi.

yada2 about this and that.

can't wait for december.

Malaysia; home; happy. =)

breathe in. breathe out. yosh.

kuasa.

2010-09-23T15:34:00.000+08:00

burung teriak di tengah padang luas,

"ini kawasan aku"

teriakan bingit kedengaran dari pagi ke petang,

dari petang ke tengah malam,

garang mempertahankan kawasan,

pantang ada yang menjejak,

dikejar sampai hujung kawasan.

sampai lah satu ketika burung itu mati,

sunyi sepi seketika.

diganti pula dengan burung lain.

kitaran tiada henti.

mungkin itu kitaran/ lumrah alam?

manusia sekali kah?

sinopsis raya di australia.versi tahun pertama

2010-09-20T20:23:00.000+08:00

Jumaat.10/09/2010

Bangun lambat. *a good way to start your Eid*

Berlari sampai jantung kencang (teringat akan semua Cardio lectures)

Sampai ke train station Macarthur tepat pada waktunya.

Dijemput oleh Imam Ridhwan di Minto.

Solat raya kat Minto.

Ke rumah aunt Sumayyah utk beraya (breakfast).

Sisters kembali ke UWS utk ujian formatif. Brothers malas nak ambil. =P

Solat jumaat di tempat solat raya tadi.

Lepas solat, gi City. (nak beraya kat rumah Puan Nora)

Turun kat Museum.

Tunggu bas. HuJan.

Nampak bas datang. Lega.

Tapi bas itu tidak berhenti. *Istighfar byk2 dlm hati*

Tunggu lagi. *Masih b'istighfar*

Bedal naik bas yang mungkin ke arah yang sama.

Alan tanya bus driver akan lokasi.

"Alan: Singgah kat Maroubra, x?*

Bus driver: Singgah2

Alan: Boleh bayar guna syiling, x? *Sydney guna sistem pre-pay, mcm touch 'n go*

Bus driver: Pre-pay je, bro~ *Got buses which still accept coins*

Alan: Owh, xpelah. Kami xde kad pre-pay tu.

Bus driver: Owh, duduk je lah. I know today is your big day."

Walawei, serius aku sayang bus driver nih.

16 org berpakaian raya naik bas. *8 berbaju Melayu*

Sampai destinasi. Terima kasih bus driver. Siap gasi signal bila nak turun lag tuh.

Makan kat rumah Puan Nora.

Melantak.

Berlegar2 di rumah Puan Nora lebih kurang 2 jam.

Pukul 6.30pm, bertolak kembali ke UWS.

Pancit. Tidur. Ready for the next day. *ready la sgt*

Sabtu.11/09.2010

Ke Circular Quay. Tangkap gambar kat depan Opera House. *pakaian raya*

Masa tangkap gambar, siap ada orang putih/pelancong request nak tangkap gambar sekali.

Pakaian kami itu unik, ok~

Dua jam untuk sesi bergambar *itu pun masih tidak mencukupi*

Naik bas, gi Malaysia Hall, ada open house. *or open hall?*

Melantak.

Stay sampai petang skit.

Balik UWS. prepare untuk mini open house (versi Apt 44).

Masak2~~~

Tugas pejal? buat air bandung + assist yg lain masak. =)

Makan2. tak melantak, dah agak penuh tadi.

Gelak2 tengok gambar slideshow raya di depan Opera House.

Tidur selepas Subuh. assist Alan masak rendang utk esok nya.

Ahad.12.09.2010

Dua mini open houses.

Satu versi Apt 39.

Dan lagi satu versi Apt 52.

Malam di Apt 52.

"Karaoke" lagu raya.

sorang2 macam mabuk *jangan risau, tiada arak*

Gelak2 lagi.

Malam tu sedih.

Sebab apa?

Isnin dah start kelas balik.

The thought of PBL always give me goosebumps. =P

FIN~

*Sinopsis la sangat.*

salam aidilfitri

2010-09-09T15:00:00.000+08:00

(Caption: budak2 UWS medic 1st year)

salam perantauan '10

salam aidilfitri

salam eid mubarak

maaf zahir batin (i mean it, especially the second one =P)

may we get to live till next ramadhan arrives.

Puasa

2010-09-05T10:20:00.001+08:00

Ramadhan is near to its end.

And I'm thinking, whether the same is happening to my good deeds.

Hoping for a better Ramadhan,

but without much effort, it'll be fruitless.

Niat may bring in pahala,

but, it must be accompanied by ibadah to make it sweeter.

good reading: http://saifulislam.com/?p=6577 (nota ringkas: mengapa ramadhan tidak berkesan)

by ustaz hasrizal on his website, saifulislam.com .

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

owh, a test is coming up.

it will be held on Raya.

selamat hanya ujian formatif (not counted to the final mark). yeah!

karut

2010-08-18T22:05:00.000+08:00

I am reading anatomy in the middle of the night, trying to understand blood supply to the heart.

This is my life until WEEK 15 arrives.

This little headache after long-hour (yeah right) study needs to be relieved with a little melody from youtube.

after listening + watching the video clip of 'love the way you lie', I let my 'thinking-about-life' part of the brain works a bit.

Kalau kasih sayang begitu menebal,

sampai benci hanya lah sementara,

begitu membara marah,

hanya satu kucupan sayang,

leyap kisah hitam,

terbit memori indah,

ini cinta gila.

kesakitan penawar marah,

kesakitan penawar kebencian,

kesakitan menjadi ubat kepada cinta yang pudar.

bukan kah cinta itu pewarna warni hidup?

bukan menghitam kaburkan minda yang sudah tersedia jumud?

biarlah aku cuba memahami erti cinta ini.

tanpa erti.

tanpa hati.

tiada makna diri.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

karutan itu seronok, bukan?

memberi kusutan pada yang membaca =P

yes, coronary artery. I haven't forgotten you. I shall return to you in a bit.

aku dan dia.

2010-08-14T20:21:00.000+08:00

dalam gelap ku senangi,

bermain hayati indah sendiri,

for these wall around me that I've built,

they are so strong and very thick,

dinding2 itu semakin tebal ku bina,

pisah kan daku dari semua,

but one man try to break in,

carving his way through patiently,

aku hanya mampu duduk seorang menanti,

dengan kerisauan tersebar dalam diri,

what is this man doing?

doesn't he know alone is what I need?

dapat ku dengar sayup2 gelak tawa,

perkara yang sudah lama ku lupa,

for long that man is still trying,

i hope he will never succeed,

sedikit demi sedikit dinding ku semakin rapuh,

biasan cahaya semakin menerpa mata ku,

he, feeling triumphant, has torn down those walls,

extends his hands to me, who still feel raw,

"mari menuju cahaya di luar sana,

aku di sini untuk teman kau hayatinya"

what is happening right now is just too surreal,

a man too sincere to bring me out of here,

perlahan2 aku berdiri dan mulakan langkah pertama,

sambil tangan di mata, tahan cahaya dari menerkam mata,

it is not that bad as i initially thought,

the warmth, the happiness, everything that can never be bought,

aku pandang dia penuh pertanyaan,

"mengapa susah payah hulurkan tangan?"

he keep silent, with a smile carved on his face,

"no absolute reason, just to bring you to this place"

dalam senyap aku masih perhati,

cuba rungkai kan serabut dalam hati,

he added "i was once like you,

full of misery and full of issues,

tapi ada insan yang sudi membantu,

keluarkan aku dari risau dan buntu,

from that moment i made a vow,

to help others, regardless of who they are"

mulai saat itu, aku mula sedar,

segala gelap dan sedih boleh sahaja pudar,

and there are still people who still have heart,

saving the world from tearing apart,

sedikit demi sedikit aku ukirkan senyuman,

minda ku bebas, terangkat sudah bebanan,

simply, a simple gesture of love makes the world go round~

------------------------------------------------------------------------

buat sahabat, terima kasih kerana bawa aku keluar dari kepompong.

aku, kini, mungkin bukan rama2 seperti yg lain,

tapi aku sudah mula boleh menghayati hidup,

kurang sesalan, kurang gusar, kurang kesedihan.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

tumblr fun utk quotation. :P

pandangan.

2010-08-08T20:58:00.000+08:00

dalam dia nyaman memerhati malam.

orang di sana senang bermandi cahaya matahari.

mungkin berbeza suasana,

tetapi perasaan mereka tetap sama;

syukur akan alam yang nyata.

hargailah apa yang sudah terbentang di depan mata.

perlukah gunung terbelah dua?

atau batu terbang di angkasa?

untuk kau menyelami keindahan oleh Maha Kuasa?

contemplate, even about the slightest creation.

hurm.

2010-08-07T20:36:00.000+08:00

hati tersentuh memikirkan,

apabila haiwan lebih 'memahami' erti 'peri kemanusiaan'.

terlalukan songsangkah pemikiran kita,

untuk menilai baik dan buruk?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Ramadhan is just around the corner.

Am I ready?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I have 15 weeks to doodle around for this semester.

4 weeks down, 11 more to go.

now, I can't wait to board that plane to Malaysia.

before that,

say Hi to:

-OSCE,

-4 final papers,

-1 anatomy spot test &

-3 EBM assignments.

those are something you really can wait.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

apabila hati kosong,

kau ada dua pilihan:

a)isikan dengan kesucian

b)celakakan dengan kekotoran.

option b sounds more tempting?

it's totally ur choice.

SoL, Karate Kid.

2010-08-01T15:14:00.000+08:00

Sound of Light last week at Acer Arena.

There were Raihan, Maher Zain and some more.

The two were awesome, greatness be to Allah.

Pandai letak Raihan last2. Great ending. *Sape x suka percussion berentak2 smart kan?*

Maher Zain, just try listening to his songs. InsyaAllah you will love them. :)

-------------------------------------------------------

baru tgk Karate Kid;

"life will knock us down, but we can choose, whether or not, to get back up." kata encik jackie chan kepada anak will smith

apa yg best, part lawan2.

seronok tgk budak2 kecik terbang, tendang2, muka bajet ganas. <== i'm not for violence, i'm for techniques and strategies.

and typical conclusion; be strong and don't be afraid of what is up against you.

and it's not all about winning (well, most of time, it is), it's mainly about how you play the game.

*enough babbling*

-------------------------------------------------------

orang ckp tumblr macam fun?

holiday~

2010-07-10T17:32:00.000+08:00

bak kata sarah,

"~4 months b4 melby: decided on going to melbourne,

~1 month b4 melby: start planning etc.,

~3 weeks b4 melby: proper itinerary planning,

a day b4 melby: tram no(s)"

aku tambah

"melby: bota jadi tour guide =P,

post-melby: despair tunggu result + kedatangan Sem 2."

apa aktiviti kami di melbourne?

sila rujuk facebook. :)

result?

praise be to Him. :)

now?

ready myself for Sem 2.

lecture notes dah upload kat blackboard.

group PBL dah tahu.

sekarang tinggal bedal je.

Sem 2, I shall do my best.

erti kisah.

2010-06-29T20:03:00.000+08:00

satu-satu rebah ke bumi

bagai hilang segala percaya

kau tilik diri sendiri

apa masih ada sinar neraca

kau masih nantikan panggilan sepi

tunggu dengan penuh gagah

segala harapan kau telah mati

semua hanya tinggal sejarah

kau biarkan dunia hancurkan engkau

dalam tusukan seribu macam tajam

kau relakan dirimu dimamah ranjau

pandangan mu hanya lah pada kelam

kau terus menjerit;

"mana pergi cahaya cinta

mana hilang belaian kasih

ada lagi kah erti pada makna

ada lagi kah erti pada sakti"

biarkan lah semua itu berlalu

walau tiada peluang untuk lupa

kejar lah segala yang kau mahu

kerana masa lampau hanya cereka

kau cari segala seribu kekuatan

untuk berdepan carca marba manusia.

bahagia lah kamu kalau jumpa ketenangan

itu makna kau sudah bersedia.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

semua kisahku hanya satu;

mencari diri

mencari realiti,

dan segala bagai perjalanan

di antara mula dan akhir nya.

kadangkala menyeksakan

kadangkala menyeronokkan

tapi itu semua kisah

yang telah kita corakkan

jangan ada sesalan

semua itu suratan

fikirkan yang masih putih

untuk kita warna-warni kan.

cuti bukan rehat, bukan?

2010-06-27T16:44:00.000+08:00

i'm officially on holiday..

... a week ago.

a week before that, had three papers; 1 SAQ & 2 MCQs.
killers, but still 'answer'able... i think.

mula cuti, rehat 1~2 hari. the papers drained almost all my energy.
dah ada energy, gi sana dan sini utk explore tempat yg sepatutnya dah lama explore + mini gathering.

Gi Campbelltown, lawat factory outlet.
Sbb x puas, member ajak gi DFO kat Homebush.
Terus mata bersinar2.
No further detail.

Gi City (read: Sydney).
Mula2 ingat nk jalan2 simple je.
Then extended sampai ke mlm.
Siap dpt layanan istimewa dari seniors rumah baitul ikram.
nasi lemak plus cekodok.
stomach filled to the brim.
rehat 2 jam.
baru blah balik Macarthur.

Gathering seniors di UWS (read: ramah mesra)
makan sedap. *tgk head chef la kan; which is not me*
plus desert + cocktail; penambah seri.
"mafia wars" 3 rounds. <== serak suara.
watched brazil vs portugal.
cards playing here and there.
conclusion; fun + bonded.

Gi Campbelltown lagi.
Tengok wayang dengan rakan2 seperjuangan + seniors.
Toy Story 3.
worth my every penny.
tunggu this sequel punya lama.
penantian yang berbaloi.
beautiful ending.
applaudable plot.
a wonderful watch.
*ini perspektif individu yang suka tgk kartun*

now, waiting for melbourne trip.
doodle~

:P

2010-06-18T19:19:00.000+08:00

14/06/2010
20 tahun yang lalu, insan ini telah dilahirkan.
Kini, sudah mula bertatih untuk menjadi doktor.

If u ask me to nominate the toughest fighter, i would go for this gal.
Come hurricane or flood, she will brave the odds, and come out stronger.

Corak demi corak, anda warnai dunia di sekeliling anda.
Dan anda masih terus mencorak.
Mungkin tidak ramai yang mahu ambil kisah corakan itu.
Tapi, anda masih terus mencorak; untuk kini dan masa hadapan.
U always move forward, day by day.

Setiap titisan air mata, anda jadikan kekuatan.
Setiap tekanan, anda jadikan cabaran.

That’s pure strength.

Aisyah Ibrahim, happy birthday. Live long, live well, live life to ur fullest
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dreaming of the past,
Thinking of the future,
Initiating the present.

Nothing is fine,
Unless, you understand your purpose of living.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Owh. Saya masih single. Saya bukan gay. Saya masih belum mahu ber’couple’.
Anything seems contradicting? Haha.
I’m not sure why, lately, i keep on getting questions like, “betul ke ko single lagi?” or “Ko ada apa2 ke ngan dia”. Or maybe it’s me just who is perasan. :P
Anyway, the above statement shall explain my current status quite well.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Doodlish world is full of colour.
And, lines~

tiada bukan hilang

2010-05-27T18:24:00.000+08:00

ku menari rentak satu persatu
untuk hayati saat bersama

ku nyanyikan melodi rindu
untuk hadirkan diri yg tiada

ku sampaikan kata2 syahdu
untuk hilangkan resah yg lara

ku dendangkan irama lalu
untuk kenangan masa muka

tiada yang pasti tentang hari itu
tapi kini, kita masih serupa.

----------------------------------------------------------------

to have something or nothing, sometimes, are the same,
we will crave for more and more.

----------------------------------------------------------------

i'm terrible with words, actions or anything,
but can my presence makes you feel better?
fullstop.
you choose~

of downs with solutions.

2010-05-08T23:25:00.000+08:00

sitting on a chair, crying out loud
wondering what'll happen right now

realise, there is no truth
in everything that you do

silence, throughout the day
hoping it will turn out okay

the ringing zaps me back to reality
suddenly, i miss my family

all i can say i just say
and that really makes my day

step back a while from being bold
to stop doing something stupid down cold

now i know it's not you who lied
it's just me who didn't understand why
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
persepsi itu bukan mainan satu pihak.

ia melibatkan pemerhatian si pemerhati
dan perilaku si pelaku.

tapi bahaya selalu terletak pada si pemerhati
kerana dia yang suka menafsir.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
well, i tell nonsense a lot.
because i believe that nonsense is needed to create senses.
=PP

well, nothing much happen really.
just the same ol' routine every week.

PBL on monday, after a series of lectures in the morning.
nothing on tuesday
'practical' and PPD tutorial on wednesday, follow by two-hour lecture in the evening
learn art on thursday. not literally. =P got clinical practice on this day.
lectures and PBL again on friday.

*study hours here and there during breaks and between lectures or tutes*

it's not that packed compared to other UNIs (read: medic course).
but, this is little compared to what has been prepared for us later on.

expect the unexpected.
and learn the way of life along the way.

:D

2010-04-25T23:46:00.000+08:00

i thank you all who wished and make my life extra meaningful.

abah, mama, along, b.long, k.ita, b.ngah, k.lin,bro izzad, k.zura and kiddies; thank you guys for the card. this year's is extra special since it my first celebration in australia. love u guys. :D

bota, chan and qari; as always, u guys enlighten my day (night, to be precise). miss u guys yg amat.

rakan2 UWS + newie. u guys mmg la surprisingly surprising.

i'll remember the day i involved in the preparation of my own party. haha.

alan, lokman, nasriq, syafiq, redo, azra, ernie, sarah, helma, ahirah and kina; i thank you for it.

:D warm and cosy celebration, i like.

and others yg wish thro fb and phone, i also thank you guys a lot.

saya tidak publish bday ku di fb atas sebab2 peribadi, namun anda semua tetap ingat.

i really apreciate it. :D

i'm bad with words or in expressing my gratitude. but do know, segala apa yang anda semua buat, saya amat hargainya, sedikit mana pun.

life.

2010-04-24T14:43:00.000+08:00

sometimes,

to feel is just plain excruciating.

i hate pain,

but i don't hate feeling.

but i just have to have both.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

if your words cause him to be worse,

you have defied the main purpose of 'rectifying' him.

your intention is excellent,

but your action is the worst.

pinar.

2010-04-19T23:16:00.000+08:00

i'm not a guy for you to love

i'm not a friend for you trust

i'm not a somebody for you to care about.

you and i are never the same.

but can't we tolerate these difference?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

aku palingkan muka ku

bukan untuk kau paksa ku memandang mu.

kalau itu yang kau mahu.

serius, aku tetap akan jauhkan diriku padamu.

dan tetap tidak pandang mu.

aku bukan sepertimu,

untuk tabur kebaikan di sana sini,

untuk bentuk insaniah yang abadi.

kerana aku masih mencari diriku,

dan diriku, ku pasti, bukan kamu atau bayangan mu.

jarak ku dengan mu akan ku jaga,

supaya tiada paksaan dalam jiwa ini,

yang kau robek satu persatu.

masih kah kamu mahu mendekati ku?

silakan,

aku sudah sedia langkah seribu.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

aku hanya nampak kesusahan dalam hidup,

bebanan yang bagai tiada akhir.

aku hanya mampu mengeluh,

kesalan yang masih berbunyi.

kelam minda dan penglihatan,

campuran dunia dan akhirat.

Kau berhentikan kaki ku,

lihat kan ku cahaya cerah,

di sudut yang sepi.

Kau biarkan ku jalan menuju cahaya kecil.

dalam kelam ku hayati cahaya,

aku terus gembira dengan cahaya.

dalam asyik sendiri,

aku lihat sekeliling.

kelam makin pudar.

kau ganti dengan sinar

sedikit-dikit,

tanpa ku sedar.

kini aku lihat,

hanya sedikit kelam dalam sinar yang luas.

aku berdoa,

tidak aku mahu ke arah kelam yang sudah pudar.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

a month

2010-03-20T20:07:00.000+08:00

tup tap tup tap, it's already a month me being here.
have passed 2 PBLs 'gloriously', thanx to my bluriness.
the series of lectures sure give me an overview on how my five years here going to be like.
"FUN" in a good intellectual way.
*please bear with me for a while. a little bit hyper-ed right now*

anyway. without challenge, life will be dull, won't it?
several breakdowns. several triumphs; mixtures towards a matured leand wise man, hopefully.

nothing will be like a breeze forever.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*if you want the grass, aim for the tree,
if you want the sky, aim for the moon,
if you want me, aim for nothing*

muhaimin

2010-03-16T11:51:00.000+08:00

Muhaimin Amran.

Ketua kelas untuk satu setengah tahun.
Tiada sebarang cubaan untuk menggulingkan beliau atas dasar tiada siapa berani mencabar beliau. :P
Dan beliau sememangnya layak galas tanggungjawab itu.

Hari ini beliau dah 20 tahun.
Ucapan HAPPY BIRTHDAY diucapkan kepada beliau.

*May your day filled with happiness and joy and wisdom, like always . :D*

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Post saya dah tukar jadi tempat wish birthday semata2. :P

RIFQI!!!

2010-03-09T08:39:00.000+08:00

i haven't updated this thing for a long time. salahkan sistem wifi uws yang aku masih cuba utk memahami mengapa sistem "OS compatibility"nya harus begitu sukar.

mesti ramai dah rindu aku dah :P *yeah right*

nway. on this special day, i would like to wish

ABDUL RIFQI AL-ABQARY BIN ABDUL WALID

the most happiest and merriest HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

soar high to the limitless sky, dude.
nothing is wilder than to dream. that's the starting point to be BIG. *petik kata2 anonymous* :P

enjoy the day. :D

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

saya lambat belajar, tapi itu tidak bermakna saya tidak boleh belajar.

change

2010-02-03T23:00:00.000+08:00

when we say we want to change,
we must first know whether we want to change for the better or for the worse.
we set our goal, we plan our actions and we move towards the change we want.

but sometimes, we change without we realise it but others do realise.

en. fikri.

2010-01-30T23:39:00.000+08:00

haha.
u're 20 already.
big guy now. bwahaha.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BOTA!!! <== *try to make the words look cheerful with the colours, but, they look so wrong* =PP
hope, in the future, nothing will never let you down.
u're a great guy and be great forever.

cheers. life.
:)

what if.s

2010-01-28T22:58:00.000+08:00

"what if there is no one for me to cling on over there.
what if i get all whooze up and i cannot stand straight on my own.
what if i get scared and start thinking about backing out.
what if i want to love something but i'm too afraid to to that.
what if i my head can't think straight and get all blocked up.
.
.
.
.
.
and many more what ifs."

i wrote them down on a piece of paper.
take out a lighter.
burn it up.

and try to let all the worries go.
and try to let my mind be at peace.

*what if i just be myself?*
haha.
just shut up.
and live on.

risau itu, kadangkala, perlu.

2010-01-23T00:21:00.000+08:00

kadangkala aku risau.
risau pada orang yang pandai bersuara tapi tiada isi.
risau pada orang yang banyak berkata tapi fakta daif.
risau pada orang yang hebat berbicara tapi ilmu cetek.
kerana ramai (mungkin) yang pandang pada luaran (kepetahan) bukan dalaman (fakta).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

kata khatib tadi, "ilmu bukan milik persendirian, tapi amanah Allah untuk disampaikan"
*ya, saya tidak tidur masa khutbah tadi*

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

kadangkala menarik melihat orang berusaha yang betul-betul tegakkan apa yang dia rasa benar.
walaupun orang lain pandang hina akan usaha dia. (baca: memperlekeh)
perserverance, orang putih kata. cekal hati dan istiqamah, aku kata.

dan aku tanya diri aku, 'kau mampu tak buat macam dia?'
sekarang, aku masih geleng kepala.
keyakinan belum mekar. dan masih mencari.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"pejal, what is true excitement?"
"when you feel content and your beloved ones are by your side; my definition"

randomZzz.

2010-01-20T23:43:00.000+08:00

watched avatar again.
this time on 3D, babeh.
muahaha.

i like.

-------------------------------------------

packing is fun and tedious in the same time. yes.
i'm glad i'm doing this for something that i have been hoping for since, like, i was budak kecik lagi.

>taking deep breath<
excited; buying all those new stuff.
and happy; my family keeping on telling me what-to-bring and what-to-do things.
just to make sure i'm focusing on what am i doing right now. *guided*

>random words being strung up together to become sentences<

-------------------------------------------

ada org request aku masak.
mula2 pikir, cam lawak.
tapi, let me try once for you :P.
afterall, kat sana mmg kena masak sendiri gak kan.

-------------------------------------------

i watched gLee just now on 711.
suprisingly, my eyes were glued to the TV throughout the show.
maybe i love the musical part.
oh yes, it's a TV series.
and yes, it won a golden globes (best musical, if not mistaken).

-------------------------------------------

saya melakukan beberapa perkara kerana saya suka, kadangkala.
saya juga melakukan beberapa perkara kerana itu kewajipan.
saya berusaha untuk menjalankan kewajipan saya dengan hati yang gembira.
usaha itu penting. tapi tak lengkap tanpa kepercayaan.

Shila?

2010-01-11T16:12:00.000+08:00

i know some may wondered yesternight why the MCs talked about Shila before Faizal Tahir performed.
the main reason was because Faizal Tahir has lung infection. he couldn't perform for the semi-final muzik2 comp as his infection was a little bit severe at that time. so, Shila was selected to take up his place. Thanx to her that Faizal can perform yesternight. She managed to sing Bencinta with power, i daresay. let us call it the female version of Bencinta. quite shaky at first, but i had goosebumps all over me as she strucked the high notes. she performed gloriusly~ Faizal should be proud of her. with proper guidance Shila should be one of the A-list malaysia singer. >or she has already been one?< :P

why did Faizal perform yesternight despite his illness?
he didn't want to disappoint his fans. he felt obliged to fulfil his fans expectation. and, yes, he really did his job well.

here's a link to Shila's performance.

AJL 24

2010-01-10T23:40:00.000+08:00

watched AJL 24 in amazement...!!!
the best one i've ever watched.
i dunno how next year going to top this year's.

the introduction by siti nurhaliza and lan was very energetic and could already feel how this ajl is going to be; awesome.
MCs [ally, cheryl, faizal]; sesungguhnya berjaya buat aku golek2 atas lantai ketawa [read: rotfl].

overall; all performances were very superb. they were unique in their own way.
as i have posted b4 on my facebook i don't mind if either one of my choices win [faizal tahir, bunkface, aizat]
and the result made me happy.

these are the result.

RM 10000; vokal terbaik: black - aku rindu sayang kamu. [high-pitched voice; wow]
RM 10000; persembahan terbaik: aizat - kau aku. [yang ni aku bajet pejal tahir menang]

RM 12000; tempat ketiga: faizal tahir - bencinta
RM 15000; naib juara: yuna - dan sebenarnya
RM 35000; juara: aizat- pergi

faizal tahir; anda mendapat tempat ketiga walaupun anda tengah sakit. saya kagum dan hormat akan awak. your voice did blown me away walupun tiada 'tarik2'. you totally exceeded my expectation. YOU ROCK!
i wish you a speedy recovery~

yuna; saya suka intro persembahan. bermain ngan melodi macam orkestra. anda bertenaga dalam tenang. aura~

-saya puas hati-

muhaimin; for AJL this year, aku x jerit time pejal menang 3rd. my dad was in front of me. :P

itu dan ini.

2010-01-06T23:14:00.000+08:00

currently, i'm listening to music at UN's blog.
seriusly, Un, you really have talent in choosing good songs.
i've already listening to the songs for some days now.

and just now, i came across a lenka's song called 'trouble is a friend'.
watching its music video remind me of teh wahida's drawing.
they are creative, unique and clearly depict the emotion that she wanted to express.
it's like i can feel what the character(s) in the drawing is(are) undergoing at that moment.

friends; you may not keep in touch with them often, but you can still 'feel' their presences through their arts and likings.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

i'm sorry i was/am never a good/excellent/wonderful friend that can be there by you side whenever you need me, that can share jokes of presents/past with you, that can understand your feelings, that can think about the future together with you, or anything else that you expect from me. yeah, use that, not who, as i am not human according to you. i can be a hypochrite. i can be back-stabber. i can be a moron. that is just me.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

on a positive note, Allah has given me the chance to go Down Under.

frankly, i have this mixed feelings inside here *pointing at my chest on the left hand side*. i'm happy, i'm nervous, i'm shocked, i'm excited, etc3. happens everytime whenever i'm going to a new place. :) but this is BIG; very new environment, culture, accent :P , mindset, etc3. in the end, i just have to say to myself, "this is going to be fun".

thank Him for giving me a very supportive family and friends who always be by my side till now. i'm very grateful and this gives me the motivation to strive further. <== baca dgn nada org dapat grammy award.

ok. now is the most perfect time to be serious...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

saya hanya akan berserah selepas berusaha. *pegangan*

0102.

2010-01-01T02:23:00.000+08:00

do you know that those with dyslexia might read the title above as 2010 at first glance?
>just some random thought<

anyway, say HI to 2010 and toodle to 2009.

2009 proved to be one of my hard years.
many things didn't go out as planned.

2010, I must be stricter with myself this year
especially when it comes to books.
I lost my concentration and focus last year;
it was like I was searching for something else rather than knowledge.
this is bad.

people around me are getting much more mature in their actions
and I am still scared with what the future holds for me.

pen-off~

this is pain.

2009-12-31T03:54:00.000+08:00

this is fun.

one.
you are stranded alone in an island.
watching all pass-byers neglecting your existence.
you just watch them gleefully.
you just don't realise that you are in trouble.
you are too happy with what you have right now.

two.
you are one excellent individual.
others are like shit as you perceived.
but that doesn't mean you are better than them.
perception is just a play of life.
you just want people to understand and be like you.

three.
you are my friend.
i'm your friend.
others are also your friends.
what you mean by friend is to accompany.
what i mean by friend is to love.

four.
i love you more than i love myself.
you are special.
but don't make me hate you.
you are special.
i will not judge you no more. the above are enough, i guess.

-------------------------------------------------------------

pain is there,
not to be endured alone,
but to be shared and cherished,
with us whom you called friends. enuf said

ini dedikasi ulang tahun kelahiran

2009-12-30T00:00:00.000+08:00

it is already midnight, malaysian time, of course...

and now, publicly and proudly and with sheer joy, i wish the most joyful 19th HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ==>

AHMAD SABQIE BIN MOHD SOFEE @ chan ...

may you really enjoy yourself on this wonderful day...
may you remember me who is still here in malaysia, :P
may you be blessed by Allah everyday , everytime...

you are a big man with a big heart, =D may future holds something special for you...

>jangan nangis, chan, muahahaha<

28th dec

2009-12-29T22:27:00.000+08:00

venue: berjaya times square, sungei wang, low yat
time: 11.3am - 7pm
tukang teman: rifqi, acap, faiz, haikal [ejaan betul, x?]
activities:

1] sherlock holmes
amat best.
aku teruja.
mata aku sentiasa terpaku ke arah skrin.
plot, mantap.
lakonan, very enjoyable.
rating, i give this movie 9.8~10/10...

2] teman rifqi beli kasut.
penat.
lawak.
pening.
>terperinci gila mamat ni nak beli sepasang, bagus2< haha

3] jalan2 tempat lain.
:D

-------------------------------------------------------------------
today is 29th dec.
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i'm
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waiting
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for
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midnight
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to
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arrive
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..
.
for something special... =D

lumba2~

2009-12-27T21:49:00.000+08:00

saturday 26/12/2009

venue: besides sunway pyramid
time: 9.30pm ~ 10.30pm
event: DOLPHINS and SEA LIONS show...
price: >using family package< rm3o per person (max 2 adult, 2 children) =rm120

comment: the mammals mentioned above were cute and adorable.
the MC was the one who lightened up the show, actually. very spontaneous.
overall, FUN and enJOYable...

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owh, anda masih scroll ke bawah. saya terharu anda masih setia. terimakasih!
>maaf, saya sedikit kebosanan<

random

2009-12-26T12:24:00.000+08:00

soalan common kalo kawan naik keta ngan aku
(when i'm the one who do the driving)...

1) ni keta apa?
mitsubishi space wagon. (i only drive this car at the moment)

2) >sambil memandang 'gear stick'< ko boleh bawa manual x?
dah x reti... (chan, bota, rifqi tengah gelak baca ni)

3) >bawa keta laju2 di selekoh< berapa kali ko amek test jpj?
twice for road, once for the 3 thingy...

4) pernah bawa kat highway, x?
sekali.

5) berapa kali accident time drive?
>diam, buat2 x dgr soalan<

ok, xde sape pernah tanya lagi soalan terakhir, dan tolong jangan tanya. :)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i want to watch sherlock holmes... !!!
i want to have a certain future... !!!
i want to eat a lot of twister fries... !!!

the big A

2009-12-22T19:21:00.000+08:00

i went to watch AVATAR yesterday with my beloved family members...
i was too curious why the rating on imdb.com was high (8-point-something is high. usually, good movies rate at average seven something...)
i expected a blow-your-mind-out-of-your-head experience,
and it sure did deliver!!!

the movie was awesome...
don't need to analyse much about the plot, character development and all other serious stuffs...
just sit back and immerse into the cameron's imagination and wild adventure...
you will be transported into a new world which they called Pandora and i called full-of-adrenaline excitement!!!

personally, i give overall 10/10....
highly advisable for anyone to watch...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

ku lihat burung itu terbang megah...
dari jauh ku impikan sayap yang sama...
ku cipta sedikit demi sedikit sayap ku...
namun, masih belum kukuh buat sekarang...

blur, totally~

2009-12-16T15:20:00.000+08:00

i dunno whether to be happy or sad...
stuck in da middle, i guess...

grateful for one thing,
but worry about another...

am i being paranoid?
or am i being tactful?

at first you glow with happiness,
but then cloud of uncertainty starting to block you bit by bit,
you are just unaware and unknown of the future...

and now, i dunno how to respond to what happened...

speechless

2009-12-16T09:16:00.000+08:00

12.00am of 16th dec, still hoping and praying for the very best of my result...
12.30am, still can't sleep... suddenly, a sms came in...

"life is 10% what happened to you and 90% how you respond to it" selamat malam~

my heart felt at peace... i carved a smile on my face...

thanks bro... you always know when to soothe my serabut-ness...
=D

14 dec

2009-12-15T13:13:00.000+08:00

jalan2 cari hiburan~ klcc again (chan, sila jealous)...
pergi bersama2 saudara fikri...
supposely there is another person, tp ada masalah kenderaan (dimaafkan, :P) ...
summary, watched 2 movies (again)...

1)storm warriors
the characters' name were cute; cloud, wind, nameless, etc2...
the fighting scenes were excellent, plus the pusing2 angles of shooting (smart)
the way it depicted some scenes were brilliant, for me (when conquering other martial artists, for example)
but, i hate the plot... sape yg x suka citer hanging, sila jgn tgk...
the malay subtitle was hilarious...
i give around 6/10 (maybe 7 if the story is not hanging)

2)the princess and the frog
>bota berbelah bahagi nak tgk cerita ini, haha<
>si penjual tiket tgv gelak pabila aku nak tgk cerita ini, i don't care<
i laughed at most of the times >bota pun gelak2 juga, harap maklum<
each character provided unique strength to the story...
the music was fun...
i give around 8/10 ...

i'm waiting for avatar, the rating at imdb.com is quite high... (currently 8.4/10)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

result sace examination will be released tomorrow (16/12/2009) ...
wish my friends and I the best of luck... =D

good and evil~ which one? you choose~

2009-12-12T21:59:00.000+08:00

i have finished THE BTN course needed for anyone who wants to fly...
people said it was tormenting,
i said it was fun, was an eye-opener and managed quite successfully to instill patriotism inside me~

i have asked and googled some who had gone there in the past (years ago), majority gave negative impressions while majority who went there around this year gave positive notes...
one assumption here is that BTN has changed its approach to deliver to students...
if there is really changes in methodologies and wiles, it should be applaud and praised as it has managed to change from 'creating hatred towards the programme' to 'instilling love and understanding for the nation'... with all the ruckus and chaos happening here and there, the worst that we want is a fallen nation, something that we all don't dare to see and feel (well, i dunno if there is anyone who don't even give a damn about the country but only care for ihis/her power and status)... ok, i don't want to be seen as pro something or somewhat, this is just a matter of thought and opinion... x setuju? open up a blog and write it down, thank you and harap maklum~

well, it is not perfect, nothing is... sure it has its bumps and loopholes, but we can see that they want to rectify the problems and try to satisfy the ultimate goal which is PATRIOTISM...
overall, BTN explained the importance of law (in this case, the constitution) to control and maintain peace in the country... seriously, i didn't give a thought nor care about the constitution before... everything needs a guideline to ensure smoothness in management and actions, so does this country... problems arise when some wise men or women just ratling about everything without even give some minute to refer to the guideline... this is unwise and could create a catastrophic consequence... i beg (to anyone), please be more careful in giving out any statement...

>serious pulak bunyi nya, pejal< :P

thoughts and expressions jangan di hold sangat~ luahkan kalau perlu... kalau salah, apa guna keluarga dan kawan kalau tidak perbetulkan... kan~!?

anyway, i enjoyed most of myBTN experience, but not all of them... still, it was fun... i enjoyed the physical activities the most... the repelling was thrilling... sampai kat atas menara tu, hati dah berzikir dan mulut mula bertasbih (time cuak baru nak ingat Tuhan)... time repelling, layan gile, bajet macho r dapat buat... sampai bawah, puas hati gile, rasa nak repeat lagi, tapi gasi peluang lah kat lain... kembara was laughable... it was laughable when we are the only group who went into the muddy river... what we thought as simple turn out to be challenging when the path is not followed... dah taubat tu, kambali ke jalan yang lurus dan berjaya sampai ke kem kembali... :P

LDKs; seronok... maybe sebab fasilitator kumpulan yang menarik... ada je benda nak pekena kitorang... mula muka2 serius... pas dah kena, senyum sengih2, haha... ustaz2... anda memang cool~ tapi time part serius tu, memang rasa aura belajar tu... all the activities are more on the constitution with relation to other issues... this is where we, the group members, learn... one important thing is that, you need to read a lot and try to differentiate between facts and assumptions... even my facilitator asked us not to believe him wholly and try to to think for ourselves before accepting any input or information... kita ni manusia, xkan lari dari kesilapan...
that's why we need to evaluate the pros and cons (something i still find difficult), before come out with any conclusion... bak kata orang, jangan terima bulat2... buang yang keruh ambil yang jernih supaya diri kita yang banyak kekeruhan dapat dijernihkan sedikit demi sedikit...
the last LDK was the peak of excitement... tengah syok2 gembira nyanyi2 lagu, dan kena 'jajah'... dibisukan dan diblurkan dengan jayanya.... tengah buat kerja, dan2 ada kena tangkap... memang blur la kan... tapi dalam LDK ini lah, baru dapat rasa kekitaan untuk memastikan semua berjaya... pastu, kena buat tugu, semangat berkobar-kobar tu memang dapat dirasai...

secara keseluruhannya, x rugi la pergi~ i went with a thought only to pass, but more did i get...
maybe in other camps, it was different, but in Meru, it was suprisingly superb...
thanks to all involved; tuan kamal (ketua fasilitator), ustaz khairul (tazkirah mantap, serius xkan lupa ustaz ni), ustaz arasz (my faci), pak mus, pak rani, pak dol dan pas ya (jurulatih berdedikasi dan penyeri sepanjang kursus), halim, fahmi, p-dud, syafiq, din, murni, radhwa, dinee, poje, fana, aisyah dan faizah (ahli kumpulan yang menarik dan menggembirakan) & to all others... it will be different without you guys...

> i do hope i pass the written exam, quite hard not knowing most of the part<

dec 1st

2009-12-03T00:32:00.000+08:00

on that day, i celebrated the expiry of my student card... > :P <

i went to klcc, just to loosen up a little bit...

in brief, i watched two movies and bought two books...

new moon; many hate it but i like it...

it was much better than twilight with less awkward moments here and there...

at the least, i can feel the emotions of the story rather than irkness of the mushiness of the lines...

yeah, i cannot deny the buffness of taylor lautner a.k.a. jacob black, one of the reason i managed to stay 'alive' throughout the 130-minute movie... >just kidding, i suppose<

personally i would give 5~6 /10 for this movie...

2012; wow~!!

the CGIs were just amazing, i can even forgot that i was having a full bladder throughout the ~3- hour movie, how uneasiness can go away in times of amazement...

who doesn't like to watch everything being ripped apart and washed away? unless it happens to him/herself... >moga dijauhkan<

in my view, this movie should be rated around 7 out of 10...

then, with ample of time left, i went to kinokuniya just for sight-seeing, at first i thought...

with all those good books arounds, how could you not buy any of them...

i wandered around thriller sections; john grisham's section, to be exact...

and i decided to buy the associate...

and alang2 dah sampai kat kedai buku, baik beli dua buku, just in case i get bored and have no intention to go to anywhere to buy books, i bought another one; salahudin ayubi: penakluk jerusalem... i was influenced to buy this book after watching the kingdom of heaven...

the end of my trip, and yeah, it was a tiresome but a very enjoyable day...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

buying btn's stuff : RM110

experience you gonna get from btn: priceless~

love, as what some see it

2009-11-29T01:14:00.000+08:00

two young people met in the middle of nowhere,
declared that they are in love,
they kept on meeting each other,
until one day they said that they want to be deeply in love,
"i have known a lot about her," one said,
"i have felt much chemistry with him," the other one said...

they met and kissed and made love,
and they felt happy with each other's presence,
"this is life," one said
"i'm in heaven," the other one said...

but, one day, they fight,
for no reason they fight,
they fight and reconcile,
they fight and reconcile,
until they had enough,
they still had the feelings, they said
but what went wrong?

"she has changed," one said,
"he is not who i met in that middle of nowhere," the other said,
eventhough love is still present in their tiny hearts,
faith has lost to nowhere,
alas, they did understand each other,
but they just didn't fully trust each other...
----------------------------------------------------------------------

apabila kamu sudah sangsi,
jangan ditabur benih benci,
segala kisah manis akan terkubur,
segala kisah pahit akan dipupuk...

tiada makna bagi dendam,
biar kan segala perasaan pergi,
tinggal kan hanya memori,
supaya hidup dapat diteruskan...

bunga bukan sekuntum,
kumbang bukan seekor,
bukankah begitu?
terpulang lah pada kamu~

itu bukan~

2009-11-19T15:59:00.000+08:00

Kau merewang sendirian di jalan sesak,
Kau mengharap orang di sekeliling perasan kewujudan kau,
Tapi, mereka tetap sibuk dengan kerja mereka,
Kau rasa kesunyian…

Kau hanya mampu ukir senyuman,
Senyuman kecil untuk diri kau,
Kau imbas kembali memori manis lampau,
Mengharapkan semua itu berlaku kembali,
Tapi, kau hanya mampu mengharap…

Kau pandang sekitar kau,
Kau rasa sedih,
“Mana pergi teman?”
“Mana pergi kasih?”
“Sudah hilangkah semua?”
Kau tanya diri,
Tiada berjawab,
Hati kau sudah terasa sebak,
Dan kau tiada hala tuju,
Mata mula bergenang air mata…

Hidup kau perit,
Waras kau semakin pudar,
Kau teruskan jalan lemah kau,
Sampai di rumah,
Kau mencapai pisau,
Kau sudah teresak-esak,
Kau sudah hilang punca…

Kau letak pisau di pergelangan tangan,
Kau tersedu-sedu,
“Ini mungkin yang terbaik untuk hilangkan segala-galanya”
Itu sahaja yang kau mampu ujar pada diri kau…

Kau memang sudah hilang segala-galanya,
Minda kau,
Hati kau,
Jiwa kau,
… Diri kau…

Kau tekad untuk potong giliran maut kau,
Kau dah penat,
Kau pandang atas,
Tak mampu lihat diri ambil nyawa,
“Akan ku lakukan ini”
“Selamat tinggal dunia”…

Tika kau toleh atas,
Mata kau tertumpu pada buku-buku di atas rak,
Dan kau nampak Al-Quran berhabuk itu,
Hati kau bergetar,
Kau jatuhkan pisau itu,
Kau menangis lagi,
Kau duduk,
Tangan di mata,
Mahu menutupi segala memori pahit,
Kau menangisi kelemahan kau…

Bersyukurlah kamu Allah biar kamu lihat Al-Quran berhabuk itu,
Dan beri getaran keinsafan pada kamu,
Buang lah habuk pada kitab itu,
Buka lah,
…dan hayati lah…
...dan amal lah...
Dan moga tenang hati kamu…

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Semua masalah ada penyelesaian,
Tapi maut bukan jalan nya,
Dan itu bukan kerja kamu...

Bahu aku masih kering,
Kalau kamu mahu basahkan dengan air mata kamu,
Kalau kamu mahu~

digital fortress

2009-11-14T17:13:00.000+08:00

digital fortress, a novel written by the famous dan brown...

the writing is excellent; i was totally absorbed into the story and felt what the characters were going through...
the intense part made my heart beat wild...
and i really like the flow of the story where the author guided me through all these different places without me getting lost...

>one of the good books to occupy me during these boring moments< :)

thank you~

2009-11-12T21:27:00.000+08:00

i would like to thank my lecturers:

biology: ms koh & ms param
chemistry: ms adeline tan & mr yap
english as second language studies: ms juliene, puan zaidah, puan salina & ms ting
mathematical studies: ms piriya
physics: puan sofina & ms tan we wee

for helping me to survive those 18 months of pain and suffering (exaggerating, i know, but who cares) of South Australian Matriculation...

without you guys, my life would be extra miserable...

and i would also like to thank my housemates:

haikal (roomie-you survived with me, thank God, =P)
syakir
syaukat
syuaib
muhaimin
halim

and my classmates, jOneights

for really brighten up my life during those dark hours...

also to others who really help and guide me along my journey...

thank you for being able to be patience with this immature, senseless, selfish and helpless little boy, >.< ...

there is a deeper ocean we need to sail on later,
but, hey, cherish the present....

fikri @ bota, sabqie @ chan, rifqi @ qari,

you three really make me really want to strive for the very best
as you three have already and still creating your victorous moments...
trully, you three are my living heroes...

and my greatest motivation will always be my family
who has supported me throughout my life
come high or low...
=D

life is never easy,
but with you guys, it's a breeze...

accident

2009-11-12T18:06:00.000+08:00

met with a minor motor accident last monday after my biology's paper
just have some bruises here and there, nothing serious...

a little bit 'tempang' due to the bandage around my right knee...

don't worry, kay~

some rest and i'll be hitting those malls after that... :)

the joy and pain... :)

2009-11-11T17:29:00.000+08:00

at last, the exam ended yesterday...
chemistry was not that bad, but still, it wasn't that grand...
>lenguh~< =P
my bittersweet 18 months in Taylor's has also ended,
but, in a way i have never thought of...
haha...
enjoying my quiet two months of holiday...
before the real stress starts next year...
---------------------------------------------------------------

ini takdir~
we can never blame it,
we only have ourselves to put the blame on...
---------------------------------------------------------------

we can never blame others for the fault that they never did....
it is beyond our will to not let it happened...
afterall, we are His tiny servant, we are bounded by His rules and orders...
and whatever He has decided for us...

just let it go...

life is short, live it to the fullest...

do we know what lay for us tomorrow...?
>who knows<

exam~

2009-11-05T20:52:00.000+08:00

3 down, 2 more to go...

english as second language studies (checked)

physics (checked)

mathematical studies (checked)

biology (waiting)

chemistry (really can't wait to sit for this paper)

>praying and hoping for the best<

-------------------------------------------------------------------

if you keep on searching for my bad,

just seek the devil, it will be much more easier for you to find one...

this final moment~

2009-10-30T21:22:00.000+08:00

sprint, baby, sprint...!!!

a little bit more before reaching to the end...

patience, please be with until the end...

faith, guide me to the right lane...

peace, please shove those hurdles away...

i always hope for a clear ending, but it sometimes full of bumps and potholes...

however, it should never be a problem because i always face them in my life...

understand, strategise and launch full scale attack...

(sometimes, retreat a step doesn't mean that you're weak,

you are smart enough not to get yourself killed)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

kamu semua, terima kasih dan maaf atas segalanya~

aku penuh kehinaan, tapi kamu pandang aku bagai penuh kemuliaan...

aku banyak cacat celanya, tapi kamu hanya pandang pada yang sempurna...

pabila aku buat silap, kamu tegur aku dengan penuh hemah...

kamu tahu bila itu perlu dan tidak...

aku tetap akan jadi aku, dan kamu paham lalu menerima...

kamu tetap kamu, dan aku tetap suka...

kita banyak beza, tapi tetap bersama...

terima kasih Tuhan, kerana hadirkan dia dan dia dan dia dalam hidup ku... =D

aku dan kamu

2009-10-17T20:12:00.000+08:00

i dream to dream,
of something that makes me happy...

i dream to live,
a happy life filled with only breeze...

i dream to sleep,
to have only sweet dream in it...

can i dream forever?
dream that is nothing but eternality?
--------------------------------------------------------------

aku rantau sepelusuk jiwa,
mencari dan mencari,
kehilangan diri...

aku selongkar seluruh minda,
mencari dan mencari,
kewarasan diri...

aku selongkar seluruh jasad,
mencari dan mencari,
kesucian diri...

masihkan wujudkah erti diri,
dalam diri ini?
--------------------------------------------------------------

i can hear his sighs,
for all the trouble the world has caused him,

i can listen his rantings,
for all the headaches he is having,

i can watch his face,
for all the expressions that he potrayed,

i can look into his eyes,
for all the tears that drop to his heart,

but, i can only be me,
helping him with all that i can give,

in the end, it is only he,
who can really help him...

random

2009-10-16T23:32:00.000+08:00

do watch the 15 malaysia's movies...
very enlightening...

my favourite lines,
"dead babies, infected feet, diseased throats, lung cancer,
it's like happy meal collectible,you collect them all! i like this!"
-about the NO-to-smoking campaign-

kepak~

2009-10-08T15:33:00.000+08:00

said bye2 to Chan yesternight...
he was off to india to read medicine...
best of luck and wishes to you, Chan...
May you prosper in your life there...

>BotA! thanx for the ride< =D
---------------------------------------

on the other hand,
i'm still struggling to get a place in an Australian/New Zealand unviversity...
medicine is tough, but that will not dishearten me from further pursuing this pathway...
after studying 3 semesters in SAM, now i know where i stand...
i need to work harder to be on par with others if i want to become a successful doctor in the future...

>hoping and praying<

-------------------------------------

don't say, just do~!!

SAM

2009-09-30T21:54:00.000+08:00

I'm hating SAM day by day, and trial worsen this uneasiness....

but, i will not fail~

-to learn is to love-

i always ask myself, why must everything in this course be hard?

or is it just me that my own life difficult...?

everything must be handled smoothly during this final hours...

i need to have more control of myself and my life,

to create magic out of tragic,

and to be more responsible in what i do...

hey, i do learn something (more to "a lot of things") from SAM...

indeed, everything has its two sides of the coin...

lets mould love from hatred~

quotations>

1. ala, u're a underdog, u'll exceed anyone's expectation in the end...

2.woi, xkan nk give up skrg, mana pergi fareez aku nih...

3.they pressure us, that's true, but they love us like heaven, which is extremely true...

4.sebab aku sayang ko, aku ketuk kepala ko skrg...

thanks and loves~

lady gaga

2009-09-25T23:53:00.000+08:00

her performance in vma 2009 really opened up my eyes towards this very unique singer...
she has this 'weirdness' that can attract you to her, very closely~
her song, paparazzi, is my new addiction, for now~
who knows what she will bring in the near future...

my favourite, the bloody show in vma...
not many can put up this kind of performance...
she didn't seem to care what people say, all she wanted is to entertain....
click here to youtube...
not quite clear, pardon me, this video is...
if you have time, try search for a clearer one...

and this one is her singing live (piano version)
click here to youtube...
this one astonished me, really...
you can listen to the genuinity of her voice...

ok, this may sound a little bit exaggarated...
but hey, she deserves the recognition...
peace...

hurm

2009-09-22T23:08:00.000+08:00

can't wait for hlovate's new novel : versus.
will be out in november, as i heard~
right timing, just about after me finishing my final <- reading in peace...

raya was like usual, brief and enjoyable...
for those who i haven't wished yet, SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!!
sorry for my ignorance...

cannot put away the thought of sitting for the final for even a second...
please let this ends happily ....

i'm babbling and rambling~

ppl~

2009-09-17T18:59:00.000+08:00

tetibe rasa lapang skit,
:P

--------------------------------------------

when you keep on blaming others for your own failure,
you have already set your own path of failure....

--------------------------------------------

owh, final will start on 2/11...
:O

find me only in the library after this... >cough2<

long hiatus, was~

2009-09-17T12:29:00.000+08:00

at last, i'm partially free...
trial exam was not that grand for me, but it won't stop me from going to australia...
have tremendously high hope to study there...
again, not going to raya-ing much this year...
want to organise my notes during this coming one-week holiday...
serious mode, on~

but before that, let us enjoy a bit, just a bit...
this week really has drained my fun energy...
need to recharge myself, first, before any furhter 'rehabilitation'...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
just in case i forget,
SELAMAR HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!!!
forgive all my wrongdoings, inside out....
:)

is there still hope out there?
who knows~

laju-ing

2009-08-21T23:29:00.000+08:00

ramadan has arrived~
welcome~~~
hoping to become a better person...
------------------------------------------------------

a quotation taken from an article posted on the wall at ampang park's surau...
"Not to get more but be more"

simple yet meaningful...
life is not purely on what you get in return,
it's basically what you become in the very end...

the very best, we can only hope...

keta

2009-08-18T19:28:00.000+08:00

fear of round about...
still can't find the exact term...
for now i call it "rodophobia"...

-------------------------------------------------------------
driving record..
still getting honked at least once for every driving...
excellent~

-------------------------------------------------------------
meditating; "plz make me a good driver"...

break~

2009-08-17T20:36:00.000+08:00

several things to do during this short break...

1)read "torn apart" by james patterson (done)
2)make physics notes for chapter 12 & 13 (baru start)
3)read chem notes (dunno when to start)
4)finish up IDS (another last minute thing to do, i guess)

Torn apart is a really good read especially for those who are in search for a 'motivational + story' type of book...

it is a true story about a boy named Cory who has tourette syndrome (go google the term) and how he faced all his problems until he managed to beat all odds...

serius cerita ni smart... plus, the book was written together with Hal Friedman (Cory's dad)... this gives a deeper emotion to the writing...

>thanx babe for the book<
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

others act as mirrors to reflect your real self....

lift~

2009-08-17T04:00:00.000+08:00

7 o'clock on a friday morning, at the 7th floor....

"i'm just a little bit 'caught' in the lift,
hard to reach the guard,
they talking nonsense,
i had nowhere to go,
thank God there were roomie and Ray,
didn't feel alone"

try singing it to Lenka's The Show tune...
>not quite like the original song, but who cares< =P that was another moment at casa subang... >smiling to the short memory<
------------------------------------------------------------------------

ever wondered why sometimes you felt the world has something against you?
well, it's just YOU~ stop blaming the world, she is innocent...

fikirku kini~

2009-08-09T19:39:00.000+08:00

kadangkala kita terpedaya dengan erti "kejayaan"...

kadangkala kita lebih percaya dengan erti "musibah"...

------------------------------------------------------

kau mahu percaya dunia itu selamat,

tapi kau baru dengar ada pembunuhan di seberang sana,

sekarang kau skeptikal dengan semua di sekeliling...

------------------------------------------------------

"we're all addicted to our past" (sophie 2009)

...and i'm craving for a future~