cinta?

dalam ribuan malam,

antara jutaan bintang,

kau tetap yang bersinar terang,

yang paling tegar dalam ingatan.

kala siang menjengah,

membawa pergi cahaya mu,

aku tetap menunggu,

untuk malam kembali.

Oh, the northern star of my heart.

Shine forever, please?

For a dirt of the Earth to ask,

My favour is too much, I know.

----------------------------------------------------

ok, too much of these mushy2 posts.

but, writing about them are, in a way, easy to relate to for many of us.

love.

hatred.

satisfaction.

frustration.

life.

death.

they are what we see, experience, observe and do where death will be the finale of the events.

our God-given bodies, soul, minds and hearts are tested in every way and angle be it joy or despair.

human.

the simplest word to sum up all of them.

when I see myself in the mirror, sometimes I ask, "Who are you going to be today?".

Will I smile or frown?

Will I laugh or cry?

Will I be able to breathe until the end of the day?

The never ending questions.

Then I choose to let go off the worry, and be carefree.

But after you observe the love/hatred relationships of others, I choose to worry again.

"Will it be me next?"

I guess I get too worry of something that I should not.

Then I choose I write all the posts as if I am in those positions.

"What happen when I get heartbroken?"

"What happen when love has long begone?"

But there is one thing I seldom ask myself.

"What if I am really in love?"

Fifty people one question.

There are videos on youtube that gather people to ask them one same question.

And this one asked them about what you regret about your life.

Regret.

One word that can make people pause and think for many hours.

Pause to recall all the moments that you can revisit.

Think, what can be done to change that.

I regret of being a coward; not brave enough to take risk.

I regret of being stupid; not seeing the many opportunities lay ahead.

I regret of having many lifeless moment; physically and emotionally.

There are even times I regret of being myself.

But then reality smacked me on the head.

Whatever or whoever I am now, is who I am should be proud of, at least for myself.

But, I shall try to make things I shall not regret later.

(Another) but, I am used to regret things, you see. *cursing myself*

Sampai malas nak berubah. <== haisyh

Sekarang, kembali kepada buku2 tebal dan nota. *sarcastic smile*

dunia

jinakkan hati mu dengan cinta

maniskan dirimu dengan senyuman.

tapi jangan jinak sampai lemah dayus.

tapi jangan manis sampai dijilat lunyai.

dunia itu kejam,

kalau itu yang kau pilih.

.

biarkan?

Si A:

"aku tahu semua itu,

apa itu halal,

apa itu haram,

tapi hati masih belum terima cahaya,

jiwa masih bergolak,

minda masih bercelaru,

nanti2 aku usaha kan"

Si B:

"tolong tiada nanti2,

tiada pasti esok masih muncul buat kita,

tiada tentu kita akan sempat kembali ke pangkal,

mulakan lah langkah pertama,

tetapkan lah langkah2 mu ke jalan satu,

aku kata semua ini pada kamu,

sebab aku kasih akan kamu"

Si A:

"argh!! apa kau tahu pasal aku,

kau dan aku berbeza hidupnya,

aku terumbang ambing di sini,

kau selesa di tempat hidup mu,

aku susah dengan hidup begini,

kamu senang lah nak buat segala yang putih bersih"

Si B:

"susah itu ujian,

senang itu ujian,

aku dulu macam kamu,

penuh kabur dan nafsu,

ku syukur semua itu hanyalah kisah lampau ku,

ku ambil langkah ku dikit2,

pada awalnya aku hendak mengalah,

tetapi syukur ada sahabat yang sudi menghulur tangan,

aku rendahkah ego ku,

ku cuba buka minda ku,

dan kini aku mahu cuba tolong mu,

kerana diri ini pernah seperti kamu"

-----------------------------------------------------

mereka yang kau kata sudah terpesong,

sanggup kah kau biarkan mereka tetap terpesong,

kau jauhkan diri kamu dari mereka,

mahu menjaga diri, kononnya,

sedangkan kau malu diri tak mampu,

aku tahu, kerana aku macam kamu~~~

---------

proses penyelongkaran drafts yang dah berhabuk.

got some/many writings being listed as drafts, maybe because:

1) they are too controversial back then

2) i forget to click "publish post"

now, since i am busy with studying (tergelak sinis kepada diri sendiri), maybe i'll just post these unposted stuffs that were put on hold for too long.

ayway, this stuff above that i wrote,

is not about people I've encountered, but only heard of.

and I found it interesting because:

1)bravery is never my thing especially to really talk about the matter above

2)people tends to label rather understand. *lets judging be only to Him*

3)we tend to try solve the litttle brittle problem, seldom the core. (e.g. an article from saiful islam website)

4)and everything is never a one-day process. it may take months, years or even decades.

anyway, my exam start on 14th june till 23rd june. then, 3 weeks winter holiday. yay