Y4

I imagined medic would be hard. 

It is. 

What did I expect, anyway?

We have three OSCEs, lines of write-ups and presentations, and hefty logbooks this year.

Now I understand when the year coordinator told us that Year 4 has lots of "fatalities". 

Numerous times already that I had tried to give up. 

Penat.

Especially for this rotation. 

Pagi2 pergi hospital. Balik around 5pm. 

Body doesn't want to sleep in the evening and can't study either.

Malam pun xleh nak study sgt. Tidur. 

Repeat daily. 

Weekends, main2. Dreading the weekdays. 

I want this. 

I want to become a doctor. 

I have been telling myself this since primary. 

Don't fail me now. 

A little kitten by the road Together with his brother Cross the road to the other side To get home with their mother A little kitten by the road Was playing alongside his brother When suddenly a car came by fast And hit his brother upfront A little kitten by the road Weeping by his brother side With no one to help Feeling helpless, useless A little kitten by the road Has lost his brother that day And he keeps on recalling When his brother died.

Pasti.

Ketidakpastian itu pasti dalam meneka masa depan. Ada orang takut. Ada orang berani. Aku takut.

HAPPY HUNGER GAMES !!!

hokay

now, this dusty blog shall be filled with another one-in-a few-months post from its owner; me.

*duh*

anyhow, hunger games!

have been waiting for this movie since i finished reading the trilogy few months back and only my friends (my housemates especially) know how excited i was when 22nd of march arrived. the few hours before the 4pm (my movie screening time) was torturing.

when the lionsgate logo came out, my friend (loko moko) tapped my back, asking me to relax. a futile attempt it was.

ok, enough about my feelings and lets proceed to the movie. everything written is totally and fully my amateur opinion.

parts that i disappointed with:

1) camera. angle. whatever you want to call it. it was shaky for quite a lot of the scenes to the extent that i lost my concentration at times.

2) i expect more from peeta. not saying that josh was terrible. he was marvellous as the boy with the bread. but, i'm expecting peeta to be more forceful, more garang. the train scene, i was expecting him to be angry at haymitch, but no.... he just had to be dumbfounded and be ok with that. and during the training, the way they make him look weak, i was dying a bit inside.

3) the cave scene. i dunno, it left wanting for more. it was sweet and i could felt the connection between katniss and peeta, but i dont think the romance was built up to the extent that i can believe that they are madly in love.

4) the feast. i went "argh" silently when clove was killed off just like that. one of the may parts that i've been waiting for was when clove shout out for cato with the look of her eyes consumed with fear and helplessness. and thresh with full of vengeance killed her with no mercy.

5) the nightlock scene. like the cave scene, me want more. they seem to brush off with this one, x sabar nak habis la kot.

6) the ending; it was quite ambiguous. this one was quite a turn-off for me. i need more emotion from u guys. please leave me wanting badly for catching fire next year.

what i like:

1) acting; jen lawrence was spot on as katniss. she really live up to my expectation. everyone else was also remarkable; josh, liam, woody and all the tributes. and elizabeth, you are PERFECT as effie.

2) additional scenes. in the book, everything was from katniss POV. so, introducing scenes from other POVs was brilliant, especially the scenes between Snow and Seneca, the gamemaker HQ and haymitch. i cant feel happier when they show the rebellion at District 11. it shall be an excellent continuity with the next movie. this additional scenes really add the excitement and understanding to those who haven't read the book.

3) faithful adaptation in term of the overall plot, story.

overall; i give 6~7/10 . it was still enjoyable, but it was not up to level of LOTR.

shall wait for catching fire. i do hope Simon Beaufoy will do justice with the screenwriting.

the hunger games

last week, i finished reading 'The Hunger Games' by Suzanne Collins.

start reading on new year night and finished the whole trilogy 2 days later.

damn, it was one hectic reading. i skipped my night sleep to finish the 2nd book (catching fire)

because i started reading that one at 10pm. i tried to stop and get a sleep, but my brain just wouldn't allow that.

me: brain, enough. i need my sleep

brain: finish that effing book, i must know what happen next

i ended finish just before subuh. the book is a page turner.

after finish the third book (mockingjay), my mind was blown away. the feeling and emotion that experience after i put down mockingjay was unexplainable. i was in a glass case of emotion: sad, traumatised, anger, confused, ..... imagine having all those thing at one time.

it was just unbearable. and i was distraught for quite a few days.

why? (contain spoilers)

1)catching fire and mockingjay were more into the Katniss dealing with whatever she was dealing with (post hunger games trauma & war). while i was reading them, i can absorb every feeling Katnis was having thanks to Suzanne detail descriptions of them. even after reading, i can still feel the emotion (just like when you still feel angry/sad after waking up from a nightmare). my mind just lingered around and recalled the cruelty, break downs, screams and actions mentioned in the book. how suzanne put it into words; how war affects people, really is to be given credit.

2)deaths. especially when suzanne decided to kill finnick and prim. finnick's death really hit me hard. along the way, we got to know a bit about finnick's life after his hunger games and how he put up with it. regardless what happened, his love is only for one woman, annie, who he could never live without. when finnick died during the battle, out of the blue my mind remembered the pictures on tumblr where american soldiers died and the family member/relatives/partners cries/mourn over their deaths, and i realised that finnick's child will never get to see his/her awesome father. *how can you not be sad by this thought?* then, prim. katniss's reasons to survive was to protect her mother and sis (prim), prim's death really put katniss in a limbo for awhile. the saddest scene after prim's death was katniss's 'conversation' with buttercup. i can feel the distress katniss dealing with.

3)i had a bit void somewhere in my heart after finished the trilogy (rasa kosong). after a while, i realise that the ending was not something that i expected. it was a bit abrupt and it was left untold, not elaborated enough (unless i missed something after the battle ended, i did rush through the ending). why coin decided to kill those children, what happened to gale after he moved to district 2, is there other reasons why katniss voted yes for hunger games for capitol's children (just for prim? being gone through katniss character development, this is quite unexpected. plus haymitch agreed to katniss's choice, why?) and a few others i can't think of right now. this lacking of closure, i would say,does not provide the satisfaction as i received from harry potter. but, maybe this was intentional by suzanne as to provide more room more *hurm* discussion? i dunno. *i really dont mind if the hunger games books are as thick as harry potter's, if to elaborate all the missing pieces*

nevertheless, this trilogy is awesome.

1)i love the story itself, the unique idea behind it. how suzanne portrayed the effect of war into an excellent story.

2)i love the variety of characters involved. (my favourites; haymitch, peeta and finnick)

3)pace. it was hard to put down. one page lead to another. never a dull moment.

4)had i said it's awesome?

i never regret the decision to buy this trilogy.

tiada

hati kosong

kau celaru

dunia kosong

.

tapi kau masih mampu terkenang

tapi kau masih mampu meratap

.

Quran di sana;

bukalah

cubalah faham

tapi kau tetap egois dengan Pencipta

dan kau masih berani kata

"tiada tempat aku di dunia,

semua sudah menghilang, tiada"

celaka,

kau yang menghilangkan diri dari semua

hati kau yang tak bersemuka dengan yang Esa

dan kau masih berani salahkan semua?

.

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dah nak dekat dua minggu aku kat Malaysia

several things on the to-do list dah checked;

-food; durian, manggis, dine at Syid Seafood, macaron,

-movies; puss in boots, tin tin, arthur christmas,

-mall; KLCC, OU,

these are only a few of the many on the list.

and byk lagi tempat nk kena pegi for shopping

and owh, i passed 2nd year. despite all the ruffles i went through this year. self-inflicted ruckus

couldn't bring myself to study, distraction, worries. yada2...

certainly a reminder for next year.

dah tak boleh main2 for the clinical years, naya nanti.

and just knew that one of my respected teachers is transferring to another school.

another big loss to my alma mater.

immensely dedicated in everything she does.

*kurang seorang cikgu nak gossip with kalau singgah sekolah =P

-aku banyak belajar dari beliau-

cuti nih, tambah berat badan je la. makan tak bercatu; enjoying the moment.

yada2.

when studying absorbs the soul out of you,

all you can think is, "why am i doing this?"

4 papers je pejal.

bertahan.

i always have good faith on others when it comes to exam, but seldom on myself.

confidence dah terhakis sikit demi sikit.

i'm babbling because i'm worried.

this year hasn't turned out the way i wanted.

many results are below my expectation, even the paper that i was quite confidence of.

i yearn for more.

and i know i can do better.

this is troubling me to the extent that i am doubting myself.

and breaking down 2 days before the first paper is not a good way to go.

anyhow, life must go on.

and these papers must be dealt with.

at least, i got home to look forward to after the exam. :)