love, as what some see it

two young people met in the middle of nowhere,
declared that they are in love,
they kept on meeting each other,
until one day they said that they want to be deeply in love,
"i have known a lot about her," one said,
"i have felt much chemistry with him," the other one said...

they met and kissed and made love,
and they felt happy with each other's presence,
"this is life," one said
"i'm in heaven," the other one said...

but, one day, they fight,
for no reason they fight,
they fight and reconcile,
they fight and reconcile,
until they had enough,
they still had the feelings, they said
but what went wrong?

"she has changed," one said,
"he is not who i met in that middle of nowhere," the other said,
eventhough love is still present in their tiny hearts,
faith has lost to nowhere,
alas, they did understand each other,
but they just didn't fully trust each other...
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apabila kamu sudah sangsi,
jangan ditabur benih benci,
segala kisah manis akan terkubur,
segala kisah pahit akan dipupuk...

tiada makna bagi dendam,
biar kan segala perasaan pergi,
tinggal kan hanya memori,
supaya hidup dapat diteruskan...

bunga bukan sekuntum,
kumbang bukan seekor,
bukankah begitu?
terpulang lah pada kamu~

itu bukan~

Kau merewang sendirian di jalan sesak,
Kau mengharap orang di sekeliling perasan kewujudan kau,
Tapi, mereka tetap sibuk dengan kerja mereka,
Kau rasa kesunyian…

Kau hanya mampu ukir senyuman,
Senyuman kecil untuk diri kau,
Kau imbas kembali memori manis lampau,
Mengharapkan semua itu berlaku kembali,
Tapi, kau hanya mampu mengharap…

Kau pandang sekitar kau,
Kau rasa sedih,
“Mana pergi teman?”
“Mana pergi kasih?”
“Sudah hilangkah semua?”
Kau tanya diri,
Tiada berjawab,
Hati kau sudah terasa sebak,
Dan kau tiada hala tuju,
Mata mula bergenang air mata…

Hidup kau perit,
Waras kau semakin pudar,
Kau teruskan jalan lemah kau,
Sampai di rumah,
Kau mencapai pisau,
Kau sudah teresak-esak,
Kau sudah hilang punca…

Kau letak pisau di pergelangan tangan,
Kau tersedu-sedu,
“Ini mungkin yang terbaik untuk hilangkan segala-galanya”
Itu sahaja yang kau mampu ujar pada diri kau…

Kau memang sudah hilang segala-galanya,
Minda kau,
Hati kau,
Jiwa kau,
… Diri kau…

Kau tekad untuk potong giliran maut kau,
Kau dah penat,
Kau pandang atas,
Tak mampu lihat diri ambil nyawa,
“Akan ku lakukan ini”
“Selamat tinggal dunia”…

Tika kau toleh atas,
Mata kau tertumpu pada buku-buku di atas rak,
Dan kau nampak Al-Quran berhabuk itu,
Hati kau bergetar,
Kau jatuhkan pisau itu,
Kau menangis lagi,
Kau duduk,
Tangan di mata,
Mahu menutupi segala memori pahit,
Kau menangisi kelemahan kau…

Bersyukurlah kamu Allah biar kamu lihat Al-Quran berhabuk itu,
Dan beri getaran keinsafan pada kamu,
Buang lah habuk pada kitab itu,
Buka lah,
…dan hayati lah…
...dan amal lah...
Dan moga tenang hati kamu…

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Semua masalah ada penyelesaian,
Tapi maut bukan jalan nya,
Dan itu bukan kerja kamu...

Bahu aku masih kering,
Kalau kamu mahu basahkan dengan air mata kamu,
Kalau kamu mahu~

digital fortress

digital fortress, a novel written by the famous dan brown...



the writing is excellent; i was totally absorbed into the story and felt what the characters were going through...
the intense part made my heart beat wild...
and i really like the flow of the story where the author guided me through all these different places without me getting lost...

>one of the good books to occupy me during these boring moments< :)

thank you~

i would like to thank my lecturers:

biology: ms koh & ms param
chemistry: ms adeline tan & mr yap
english as second language studies: ms juliene, puan zaidah, puan salina & ms ting
mathematical studies: ms piriya
physics: puan sofina & ms tan we wee

for helping me to survive those 18 months of pain and suffering (exaggerating, i know, but who cares) of South Australian Matriculation...

without you guys, my life would be extra miserable...


and i would also like to thank my housemates:

haikal (roomie-you survived with me, thank God, =P)
syakir
syaukat
syuaib
muhaimin
halim

and my classmates, jOneights

for really brighten up my life during those dark hours...


also to others who really help and guide me along my journey...

thank you for being able to be patience with this immature, senseless, selfish and helpless little boy, >.< ...

there is a deeper ocean we need to sail on later,
but, hey, cherish the present....


fikri @ bota, sabqie @ chan, rifqi @ qari,

you three really make me really want to strive for the very best
as you three have already and still creating your victorous moments...
trully, you three are my living heroes...


and my greatest motivation will always be my family
who has supported me throughout my life
come high or low...
=D

life is never easy,
but with you guys, it's a breeze...

accident

met with a minor motor accident last monday after my biology's paper
just have some bruises here and there, nothing serious...

a little bit 'tempang' due to the bandage around my right knee...

don't worry, kay~

some rest and i'll be hitting those malls after that... :)

the joy and pain... :)

at last, the exam ended yesterday...
chemistry was not that bad, but still, it wasn't that grand...
>lenguh~< =P
my bittersweet 18 months in Taylor's has also ended,
but, in a way i have never thought of...
haha...
enjoying my quiet two months of holiday...
before the real stress starts next year...
---------------------------------------------------------------

ini takdir~
we can never blame it,
we only have ourselves to put the blame on...
---------------------------------------------------------------

we can never blame others for the fault that they never did....
it is beyond our will to not let it happened...
afterall, we are His tiny servant, we are bounded by His rules and orders...
and whatever He has decided for us...

just let it go...

life is short, live it to the fullest...

do we know what lay for us tomorrow...?
>who knows<

exam~

3 down, 2 more to go...

english as second language studies (checked)

physics (checked)

mathematical studies (checked)

biology (waiting)

chemistry (really can't wait to sit for this paper)

>praying and hoping for the best<

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if you keep on searching for my bad,

just seek the devil, it will be much more easier for you to find one...